“Err, it was fine, but I’d prefer not to talk about it and just forget it ever happened, if that’s okay?” I say, not wanting to share anything from last night. I think it’s best just being left where it is, and I can’t lie for shit. If I say it was awful, I don’t want her to see the lie on my face. I just want to move on.
She walks over to me and I expect a hug, but she just gently rubs my arm and softly smiles.
“Of course. Why don’t you go shower and I’ll go out and get some breakfast. I checked the account, it’s all paid. We’re gonna be debt free, Leo,” she says, grinning before grabbing her jacket and leaving.
Her reaction is not what I expected, but it was very clear, she didn’t care about the act. She just wanted the money.
As I take a brief hot shower, I wash off every single touch and smell from last night, hoping that it will cleanse me. Hoping that everything will just go straightback to normal. The bathroom fills with steam as I increase the water temperature, wishing for it to erase every trace of Ethan from my skin as I scrub harder, for the heat to melt him from my mind. But with each stroke of soap as I clean myself, it only reignites the sensations my body has memorized from him, programmed into my flesh so I re-live every second.
How the fuck do I even begin to move on with my life?
CHAPTER 19 - LEO
It’s the night of the company party, to celebrate the opening of a new hotel in France. I didn’t want to come, but we had no choice as everyone from the company is here.
As we walk into the main event room, the lights flash all different colors, feeling too bright for my overstimulated mind. I don’t want to see Ethan again. It’s been a week since that night, and tonight will be my first time seeing him since I walked out of his penthouse. He’s been in California on business, so it’s been easy to pretend he doesn’t exist at work. I’m dreading the next few days. I handed in my notice, and agreed to stay on for two weeks until they’ve rehired so they’re not shortstaffed. The sooner I leave here, the better. Then I won’t be reminded of every single detail of that night. Every touch, every moan, every thrust. It’s too much.
We walk further into the room toward the free barand I’m hit with how aggressively alive everything is. Light bouncing off crystal glasses, off polished marble, off dresses that cost more than my rent. Music pulsing like a second heartbeat. It smells like money.
Sarah, however, is in her element. The first thing she did with the money was buy herself some new clothes, her first designer dress that she’s wearing tonight. The money will be all gone by the time she is finished. I have palpitations at the homes she is viewing. She doesn’t seem to comprehend that spending all of the money on a home will still leave us without a life, as how are we gonna pay to run the home? We will still need to work. I want to invest, and be humble in what we buy, but it’s yet another argument. We fight when we have no money, and we fight when we do.
“Oh my god,” she murmurs, already smoothing her hair, straightening her shoulders. “Leo. Look at this place.”
I am and I hate it here. I’m so out of place in these kinds of settings. It doesn’t help that all I can think isEthan. Knowing he is here somewhere, lurking in the corner, watching. Always watching.
It’s no different in the offices when no one ever knows when he will appear. He exists in rumors and clipped warnings, in the way people lower their voices near the executive corridor. But this is his world, which means he has to show his face.
Sarah loops her arm through mine possessively, smiling at anyone who looks remotely important. She’swearing her new Gucci blue dress and it’s definitely turning heads. I can’t blame them as she looks stunning. Elegance and natural beauty. She flourishes in these situations, she wants to be part of it so bad I think she would sell an organ for it.
“You need to network,” she says under her breath. “This is an opportunity, Leo. Don’t stand there like some vase.”
“Sarah, for one night just stop. I fucked my boss for money, but no more. No more directions and orders. You want to move up the chain? Do it yourself,” I whisper hiss at her, not remotely in the mood for her lectures.
I move to her side when we reach the bar and order two glasses of the complimentary champagne. While I wait, I scan the room without meaning to. And then I see him.
Ethan stands near the far wall, dressed in black like the concept of restraint tailored into fabric. No drink in his hand. No idle posture. He isn’t speaking to anyone, yet people orbit him unconsciously, like he has his own gravity. The flashing lights highlight his eyes that are already on me.
The sensation is immediate. Memories of a hand closing around my throat, not tight enough to hurt, just enough to remind me it could.
Sarah follows my gaze.
“Oh,” she says softly. “Is this gonna be weird for you?”
I don’t answer. I’m too focused on hispissed off gaze as I start to panic. Please don’t kick off, Ethan. I just know he’s jealous. I know he is stopping himself from storming over here like a tornado to whisk me away. Sarah squeezes my arm, but it does nothing to ease my nerves.
“Come on, maybe we should say hello.”
“No,” I say too quickly as I turn to face her, but she frowns in confusion.
“Why not?”
“Why do you think?”
“What happened to being mature about this, Leo? It’s always good to keep men like him onside.”
“Onside for what? A repeat performance where you start renting me out by the hour?”
“Thats not what I’m saying, Leo.”
