Now that's interesting information. Maybe he does like me? Ugh, fucking men. “Well, we didn't really sleep much,” I say, proud of my Lev belt notch.
He snorts at that. “That's not surprising.”
That comment gets my attention. Does he mean he knows him like that? I'm spiraling at the thought and Crazy has decided to join in the fun.
“Have you fucked him?” The question is out before I can stop it. Seb looks stunned, his eyes wide and mouth gaping. He’s not looking at me, so I follow his line of sight and realize how hard I’m gripping the coffee cup. Crazy is back, and I need to put a leash on him ASAP.
He is mine!
Shit, don't lose it, Aaron.
“No, Aaron. I have only been with Dima and I will only ever be with Dima. Lev is more like an annoying brother,” he says.
“Oh, sorry. I shouldn't have snapped.” What the fuck am I doing?
“It's okay. You like him. Just be careful. Dima went for what he wanted with me whether I agreed or not, but Lev is more complicated. I don't think he’ll ever admit he wants someone. His mind doesn't work like that. I mean, hurting others is a sport for him. It would take someone special to be good with that.”
He doesn’t say it in a way that’s mean, it’s more like a fact rolled into a question, asking if I am that special person. Hell yes is the answer. I would walk through fire to be Lev's main focus, especially now I’ve had a taste. I sound like a pussy, already clingy and moon-eyed after one fuck. Well, several fucks in one night, but still, I have to put a halt to becoming obsessive over him.
“What do you mean Dima wanted you whether you agreed or not?” That little point has me curious.
Seb’s face takes on a look of fondness followed by a laugh of irony. “Oh yeah, he kidnapped me and tied me to the bed. I always thought I was straight, but who knew being taken against your will and shown what you had been missing would change my life like it did? And for the better.”
“Lev mentioned last night that, er, you did stuff, down there, in the pen, in front of others.” Christ, could I sound more awkward?
A blush tints his cheeks. “Fucking, Lev. Yes, I did, but it was a personal retribution for me. And yeah, I enjoyed it, and got off on it, but it's not something that appeals to me in the general sense. Sounds insane, but it freed me."
He raises his chin in defense, unblinking like he is challenging me to disagree, but there is no need. Who am I to judge? I get off on watching Lev torture others.
“Ha, if you're insane then what does that make me?” I swallow the remaining amount of my coffee.
“I don't know you well enough to know, but if you like Lev, I’d say you are beyond help.” He grins.
I like him. “Yeah, anyway, I need to book a ride home before my stepbrother becomes suspicious.”
“I can give you a ride home if you like? I was going to wash up but if you don't mind motorcycles, I can take you back.”
“Thanks, but better not in case I'm seen. Anyway, isn't it a little early to have finished a workout?”
I need to get out of here. Standing, I put my hands in my pockets to stop the fidgeting and my feet cramp with the need to move, to fight the urge of wanting to return to Lev's bed.
“If I didn't then I’d never get to do it. Dima is always around me and he distracts me too much.”
I chuckle. “I bet. Thanks for the coffee, Seb.”
“You take care, Aaron.” He waves.
I gently nod, walk out of the front door, and make my way down the long driveway to await my ride home. What a joke. Home. What kind of fucked up mess have I gotten myself into?
My car finally arrives and drops me in my usual spot. It’s still dark out and fucking freezing, so I jog down the quiet streets until I reach my apartment. There is no way he will be awake at this time. Jake rarely rises before nine am, but recently his behavior is so erratic I'm not sure what to think anymore.
As I walk into the apartment, the light suddenly turns on in the corner of the room, and that's when I notice Jake sitting in the dark waiting for me. He looks a mess, hair disheveled, frazzled. His eyes are dark and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t slept. Tentatively, I walk forward and try to be as casual as possible, but his severe gaze sends a quake of fear down my spine.
“Hey, I didn't expect you to be awake this early.” I manage to keep my tone even, hoping he can't hear the underlying flurry of nerves.
“I just wanted to make sure you got home. So, what were you doing last night?” he says. Suspicion laces his tone, but he is always so damn paranoid when it comes to me.
“Jules had me sitting in on some interrogation that they were doing with a guy from one of the crews.”
