“I know I'm weird, and I have a lot of triggers when it comes to Jake. When he calls me certain names, it puts me back in that mental space, and I’m that defenseless boy again. The boy who constantly talks to me in my head, drowning out all the other fuckers that live in my head too. It's like shards of glass, cutting away everything else, and it hurts. He scares me, Lev. I’m scared that I will never put that weak boy to rest.”
I process everything he just said, and part of me does feel sorry for Aaron. He was dealt a shitty hand in life. Dima and I didn't have it easy growing up with an asshole abusive father and a mother who couldn't give a shit, but we had each other. Sex predators weren't an issue for us.
Gripping the back of his neck, I try my best to comfort him. “It will be over soon, Aaron. As soon as Jake is here, it will be over. He won't be leaving here alive,” I promise him.
He smiles softly, but before he can speak, I cut him off. He is so damn predictable. “And yes, before you start your bitching again, I know you want to be in on it,” I grumble.
A large genuine smile lights up his face and this one makes me more uncomfortable than the sad one. He is looking at me like he wants me, even maybe likes me, and I can't go there. Even though I have made my position clear to him, there is a flash of hope in his eyes and I need it gone. The demons he has, only he can fight them. Developing a co-dependency with me will only keep the voices silent for so long and I don’t need that kind of pressure, for someone toneedme.
Aaron jumps headfirst into whatever feels good, and I get that, especially since he clearly hasn’t had a lot of good things happen in his life, but it can’t be me. I’m not built that way and I don’t want to be that person for him or anyone else. Maybe I need to end this now and kick him out, quick and painless.
Before I can say anything, he jumps up and climbs on top of me and my exhausted dick starts to twitch again, my self-talk forgotten. I don't think I have ever cum so many times in one night. As he straddles me his ass rubs up against my now hard again cock, and it’s wet and inviting from the leftover lube and cum.
“Doesn’t your asshole hurt?” I ask.
He smirks. “I'm taking what I can and that cock piercing is addictive.” He puts his hands on my steel rod and guides it to his tight channel.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Ride me, doe. Make me cum.”
With both hands, he pinches my nipples and leans forward, taking my mouth in a deep and sensual kiss. He pushes onto my dick, making us both moan in unison. He sits upright, looking like a hot cowboy about to ride his stallion. I grab him by the hips, and yet again, he fucks my brains out.
Chapter 18 - Aaron
Thealarmgoesoffon my phone at six am. I try to pry my sleepy eyes open so that I can find my damn phone, but they’re glued shut. Plus I don’t want to wake Lev. I decided last night that it would be best if I leave before he wakes. I don’t know if I can handle the rejection that I know is coming.
Resisting the clinginess that’s pulling me to mold myself into those strong arms is like fighting to breathe underwater. I have never belonged somewhere more than I do right now. No masks. No pretending. No thinking of the past. Just mentally disturbed Aaron who enjoys getting off on his crush hurting others and wanting to be part of it.
Slowly and carefully, I get out of the bed, and I manage to dress myself. Giving one last look over at the bed, Lev is laying on his stomach, arms folded under the pillow, and I feel a pinch at my newly beating heart. He’s stunning. His muscular tanned skin glows under the gentle hue of the nightlight in the corner of the room we forgot to turn off last night before we passed out. The temptation to lick his back forces me to physically restrain myself. I won’t turn back. With a regretful sigh, I leave the room and already the anxiousness of returning to Jake is making me feel agitated. Remembering I said I would text him, I quickly fire off a message,
Me: Just about to leave.
Short and concise, and he will still bitch about it.
Walking down the long corridor, I am greeted by who I guess must be Seb, which surprises me. I thought I would manage to dodge any interactions this early in the morning. He is standing in a doorway across the foyer to what looks like the kitchen or dining area. I’m not sure whether to speak to him, but luckily he makes that decision for me.
“Aaron, right?” he asks, and I can tell he is curious as he quickly scans me head to toe before a bright smile breaks out on his face. I must admit, he is hot. Dressed in gym gear, he has either finished a workout or is about to start. From the look of his tight body that appears to be a daily thing.
“Yeah, and I bet you are Seb.”
He laughs. “Sure am, come on and have a coffee before you sneak out.”
He turns, assuming that I will follow, which I hesitantly do.
Handing me a fresh cup of coffee, he points to the milk and cream on the counter. “Help yourself,” he says as he sits at the table.
I join him. I'm not quite sure what to say, but Seb fills in the silence.
“Heard you got quite a lot from the boys last night?” he says.
I nod. “Yep, it was fun.” I shrug and smile.
When I look up, Seb is just staring at me, probably because of my weird-ass smile or maybe what I just said. Who knows? Social cues are not my strong point.
“I see why he likes you, you are as screwed up as Lev is.” He chuckles, taking a large gulp of his coffee.
“He doesn't like me, it was just fucking.” I don’t know why I tell him we are fucking, but he isn’t stupid. He’s probably had coffee in here with multiple men and women after Lev kicks them out.
Seb continues to watch me closely with his coffee mug lifted halfway to his mouth. I don’t think he was expecting that response. “Hmm. Maybe, but I have never seen him with anyone before. He never spends the night here with a guy or girl,” he says.
