“Why did you follow me, Aaron? It wasn’t safe. We could have been killed.”
“Because I was curious about what you were doing, and we never go on deals without backup. I thought you may need it. Which you did. Why were you there Shay? Did you know you were on Santini turf?”
He turns his head, purposefully not looking me in the eye, which gives me the answer that he did know. I sigh.
“What's Jake doing, Shay? Why were you there? I’m part of this group too, and deserve to know what’s happening.”
“Look, just keep your nose out of it Aaron. It's safer that way. I don’t have a choice but you do. Be smart for once and just fucking run.”
Shay looks so tired. I always thought he was good looking with his dark hair, hazel eyes, and typical Irish fair skin along with the temper to match. But he looks older than his thirty years, too young to have witnessed and experienced so much that his body is weathered by the toll it's taken.
He’s at the end of his tolerance. Shay is an okay guy, which has me wondering what Jake holds over him to keep him here, and to make him do his risky bidding. It doesn't sit right with me.
“Why would I run?” I ask.
“I'm not blind, Aaron. Your brother–”
“Stepbrother,” I correct.
“Whatever, your stepbrother is not just unstable. Don't think I haven't noticed his disgusting obsession with you. You need to leave before this whole mess blows up. What happened to me is nothing compared to what will happen if this whole thing of Jake’s comes to light. The Kozlovs will kill us. All of us, and it won't be quick.”
I gently rub my fingers over my mouth. I’m smiling.Shit. That name has created a new emotional response for me. I turn into a needy, smiling horndog.
What would it be like to see Lev hurt Jake? It would be epic. I can't stop myself from getting turned on and have forgotten for a moment that I’m in Shay’s room.
“It isn’t funny Aaron,” he says, his angry voice bringing me back to reality. “This isn’t a fucking joke. Stop being stupid and get with what's going on here.”
It's the most angry he’s ever been with me. And fuck, I’m the reason he’s hurt.
“Sorry.” And I really am. My stupid brain.
He exhales a disappointed sigh. “Can you just leave, Aaron? I'm not in the mood for this right now. I want to sleep. My head is killing me.” He closes his eyes and pushes himself further into his pillow.
“Sure, let me know if you need anything,” I say as I get up and leave the room.
As I walk back into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, Jake appears in front of me again, looking like he wants to rip my head off, his eyes narrowed, his lips pursed in annoyance.
“What were you doing in Shay’s room?” He crowds me into the fridge door, and I feel myself becoming smaller.
I hate myself for being so weak. It's like he knows what tone to use to unbalance me and throw my mind into turmoil and chaos. Like a lock he turns that only he has the key for, and I don't know how to turn it off again.
We are okay. It will be over soon.
Not now!
“I was just checking on him,” I say, avoiding eye contact, and staring at the floor.
“Yeah, well stay the fuck away. It’s your fault he’s hurt,” he says. He’s close enough to me that his hot breath fans over my face.
That does it, I'm so sick of his shit. A flare of anger ignites erasing all thought, and I look up, pinning him with a glare.
“It would have been worse if I hadn't followed him. Why was he on his own, Jake?”
The confidence is short lived. A blow from his fist into my stomach has me on my knees, gasping for breath as Jake grabs me by the scruff of my hoodie, yanking me back up.
“Watch your fucking mouth and stop asking shit that ain’t nothing to do with you. Always said you were missing a few brain cells in that fucked up head of yours,” he sneers as he pokes the temple of my head with his finger.
He doesn’t move or let me go. We’re suspended in time, engulfed in dark silence while I squirm under his intense gaze. My ears buzz, and the horrible feeling in my gut builds until I’m near to vomiting.
