CHAPTER 24 - SEB
AsIstepunderthe hot shower, I tilt my head down, letting the water drench me, and watch the blood and all the other dirt on my body swirl around the drain, hopefully taking my sins with me.
I killed tonight. I took a life. Not just any life, Katie's life. The thing is I don’t feel bad. I feel worse that I’m remorseless. I've spent the past few years dragging my ass along in the gutter, feeling lost and out of place, having fantasies that I thought would have me locked up and in the most unhealthy relationship you could imagine. Well, I know this relationship I am in with Dima is hardly normal, but we’re happy.
That’s a thought … are we in a relationship? I mean, I live here and share his bed but he didn’t exactly ask. Ugh, when did I start to sound like such a bitch? Fucking Dima. Speaking of Dima, he pushes up behind me and shocks me by actually holding me, hugging me, no sexual intent and I'm not sure if I like it. I don't want to break down. I have so many emotions that have been hidden for so long, from grief to loneliness and hatred for myself and those around me, it feels like a damn about to burst. I’m so fucking starved for touch and attention.
It took being abducted by Dima for me to realize it.
“I'm here, baby. You, okay?” he asks with such tenderness, I close my eyes and hope the water hides the tears.
But I am okay. I’m better than ever. I turn and grab his arrogant as fuck face in my hands and kiss him with so much emotion, trying to convey how I feel so I don’t have to speak.
As I pull away, he smiles. This fucker knows me so well, my every thought. Honestly, it’s a relief to not have to speak, or explain myself. I can just be.
I bury my face into his neck. “I'm so fucking tired, but I’m not sure I can sleep.”
His strong hands rub up and down my back and then grab my ass hard. “Trust me, beautiful, you will.”
Then I think of what happened with Damon. "What's going to happen about Damon's family? He said his mom is in the hospital, won't she report him missing or something?"
The thought has only just come to me. Last thing we need is Damon's family sniffing around.
"It's all handled, baby, don't worry about it. Not our first time dealing with this shit."
"I know, but I still want to know," I push, out of curiosity more than anything.
"We will pay her hospital fee anonymously, and she will think Damon has run off from some trouble or some shit like that. Remember, we got the cops in our pockets too baby, don't worry."
I exhale, slightly relieved. I don’t know how any of this works. I am so damn tired and push myself further back into Dima's chest for support before I feel a prod in my ass.
His finger rubs around my sore hole. “What are you doing?” I ask.
“I'm cleaning you. Don’t want that bitch’s blood on your skin. She was shit as lube by the way, but no surprises there.” As morbid as that joke is, I laugh. “Let's go to bed.”
We both wash off and climb under the indulgent duvet. We don't bother with clothes. He grabs me into his arms, and he was right, I pass the fuck out.
The next morning, I wake up in pretty much the same spot I feel asleep in, embraced in Dima’s arms, and I don’t want to move. What happens now?
“I can hear you thinking, beautiful. What’s wrong?”
I lift my head and gaze at the rumpled Russian hottie next to me. I still can’t believe I’ve fallen for a man. A dangerous as fuck man.
“Are we in a relationship?” I blurt out.
I want to hide but hold strong. I need straight forward answers and direction as part of me still worries he’ll get bored now that he has me. Isn’t it all about the chase?
He sits against the headboard, pulling me into his arms. “Yes.”
That’s it. That's all he says. I don't know whether to be happy or pissed. “Okaaaaay.” I pout. I am so pathetic.
“Look Seb, I don't know what else to tell yah, all I can say is in the next couple of weeks, we will go to the courthouse and we will get married. I finally get to fully claim you.” He relaxes back, closing his eyes like that's the end of this conversation.
What the fuck does he mean marriage? I turn to face him.
“What do you mean a couple of weeks? Who the fuck said we’re getting married?”
“You know I want you in all ways and legal is one of them. We don’t need to discuss it. You can come willingly, or I can drag you by that gorgeous hair, either way it's happening. Not sure why you’re so shocked, it's obvious it was going to happen.” he says so passively like he has just announced he is taking me for dinner.
