“And why would I do that?”
“Because you’re scared.”
My mouth falls open. “I am not!”
“Sorry, Holls, but Candy has a point. You do have a bit of a history of running away when things start to get a bit too serious. And I get it. You're trying to protect yourself, but at what cost?”
My face falters as my gaze falls to my glass. “You really think that’s what I do?”
The silence that follows is all the answer I need.
Sure, I’ve always been the one to end things first, but that’s only because I’m a realist. What’s the point in wasting everyone’s time when it’s clear it's only going to end in heartbreak?
“Plus,” I start up again, my voice shaky, “if that’s really what I was doing, wouldn’t I have ended things with Fletcher a long time ago? Because things have gone way past intense, and I’m pretty sure I fell for him a long time ago.”
I want to remain strong, but I just can’t do it anymore as tears pool behind my eyes. I try to blink them away, but it’s no use. They’re coming.
“Oh, Holls,” Candice coos, scooting in close as she drapes an arm around my shoulders. “I’m sorry.”
Logan comes in from the other side, laying her head against my shoulder. “I get it. Love is a fucking pain in the ass, but don’t you think it’s been at least a little bit worth it once you finally gave in this time?”
I laugh humorlessly despite my now falling tears. “With how shitty I feel? I’m not so sure. This fucking hurts.”
“I hate to say it, but that’s how it’s supposed to feel when you find someone you care so much about,” Candice eases in. “It’s obvious Fletcher wasn’t just some casual hook-up or a friend with benefits like you two kept pretending. What you guys have is real.”
I slump over, my face falling into my hands with a groan. “Ugh, I hate this.”
“Why?” Candice prods, her fingers running slow circles across my back. “You know you still have the guy, right? Fletcher iscrazy about you. Hell, the man came to you first before making one of the biggest decisions of his life. If that doesn’t speak volumes, I don’t know what else does?”
“You really think so?” I ask, my hands falling back into my lap as my gaze shifts between my two friends. “Sure. He came to me, but I rewarded him by kicking him out of my apartment. Hell, he's been avoiding me ever since.”
“Is he actually avoiding you? Or is it you avoiding him?” Logan asks.
“Or maybe,” Candice says, raising a finger, "maybe he’s doing exactly what any emotionally mature and stable man does by giving you the space you need to figure your shit out, so that when you do finally pull your head out of your ass, you two can make an actual decision together.” she suggests, before reaching for the wine bottle and refilling my glass. “Because if that’s the case, then you better not screw this up. A man like that is worth his weight in gold.”
“I don’t know,” I sigh, my mind circling back as it processes the past few days. “I suppose he could’ve just been giving me space.”
I’d occasionally caught him looking in my direction, at least before he’d snap his gaze away the second he’d realized he’d been caught. And when I’m truly honest with myself, those weren’t the eyes of a man who was over me. Those were the eyes of someone hurting, of someone wearing a pain that unfortunately mirrored my own.
I may enjoy being a woman in control, but having the power to completely break someone and bring them to their knees? That’s not the kind I want, nor is it the type of person my parents raised me to be.
“Okay… so?” Logan prods, spinning her hand in the air. “Are you actually going to do something about this, or are you going to let the best thing that’s ever happened to you walk away?”
I’d been so convinced that this was for the best, and that ending things was the only path forward. But when I actually let myself think about it, I know with one hundred percent certainty this isn’t what I want. A life without Fletcher seems so colorless and boring, and definitely not one I want to live.
“Shit,” I whisper to myself, my chest tightening. “What if I’ve already screwed things up?”
“Babe,” Candice says, with a look that practically screams ‘are you serious right now?’“Fletch worships the very ground you walk on. If you told him you loved him, he’d be all in before you even finished the sentence.”
Logan nods. “Yep. That man is all yours. The question is, are you brave enough to do something about it?”
I let out a slow breath, nodding as the waves of panic morph into something that feels a lot more like hope. Maybe they’re right. Hell, I know they are.
I’ve spent so many years of my life holding myself back, certain that I didn’t deserve the good things that came my way because of who I am or how certain things came to be. But I’m done with that. Not only do I deserve to give in and finally allow myself true happiness, but so does Fletcher.
“You’re right,” I smile, a stream of excitement pulsing through my veins. “You’re both right. Now I just have to figure out how exactly I want to go about winning him back.”
“Winning him back?” Candice arches an eyebrow. “Haven’t we already decided that man is one hundred percent yours?”
