He’d take awe’ll seeover ano way in hell.
“No pressure,” Van said. “I mean it. This thing between us is only officially a week old, so there’s no rush to push our limits.”
“You say that now.”
“I’ll say it always. Relationships are about more than sex, and while the sex we’ve been having is amazing, there’s way more to this triad than that. There is understanding and emotionalconnection and patience. Tenderness. Fun. So many things that make the sex a nice bonus.”
Benji watched him for several long beats. “How did you get to be such a smooth talker?”
“Honey, I was born this way.”
“And I wouldn’t change you for the world.”
That single, sweet declaration tipped Van a little bit harder over the cliff of serious infatuation, bringing him one final, terrifying step closer to truly being in love.
Van was pleasantly sore and sporting some serious muscle fatigue by the time Benji bounced out of his bedroom, declaring himself first to take a shower, despite being the least messy of the three of them. Joshua lay next to him, flat on his stomach, his hips still bearing red imprints of Van’s fingertips, ass glistening with lube. It didn’t seem fair to sideswipe Joshua like this when he seemed so perfectly content, but Van couldn’t help himself.
“When were you going to tell Benji the truth about his weeklong vacation?”
Joshua sat up so fast he nearly clipped Van’s chin with the top of his head. All of his earlier calm was gone, replaced by shock. “Who told you?”
No denial, which actually earned Joshua a few “benefit of the doubt” points. “I overheard Bobby and Lincoln talking last night. Bobby seemed to think that Benji being open about his sexuality might somehow hurt the band.”
“What?” Joshua’s cheeks darkened. “That’s not what he told me. I overheard the band talking about how some of their venues had cancelled because of perceived homophobia, and weall agreed Benji would take everything personally, so we kept it from him. But Bobby really said that?”
“In so many words. He knows Benji’s incredibly talented, but I feel as if he’s tolerating the gay as long as it’s not in his face. Or anyone else’s face, for that matter.”
“Son of a bitch.”
“I’d have put the bastard in his place right then, but Beatrice came over and stopped me from throwing down in the middle of her bar.”
“It would have served Bobby right.” Joshua glanced at the open bedroom door. “But do you understand why no one wanted to tell Benji about why the band was dropped? He is so wrapped up in making sure Fading Daze succeeds that he’d quit and sacrifice his own career if he thought it would help them. It was one week, and their manager is on top of it.”
“I do understand, even if I’m not happy about it. People who care about him are lying to him, and that includes you and me.”
“I know. I’m so sorry that you’re in the middle of this now. Will you please not say anything to him?”
“For now. Any more venues start dropping the band, and he deserves to know the full truth.”
“Agreed.” Joshua wilted. “Shit.”
“What?”
“If Bobby is like this now, thinking Benji is only dating me, what’s going to happen when we come out as a triad?”
Van’s heart ached. “I don’t know. I suppose that’s something we’ll all have to deal with when it happens. Another good reason for not pushing things too far, too fast. We all three have to re-adjust our realities a little bit and get comfortable again.”
“At least you and I will have each other while he’s gone.”
“We’ll have to make sure he feels as included as possible.” The water in the bathroom shut off, bringing Van that muchcloser to saying goodbye to someone who’d quickly stolen a piece of his heart. “He’s too special to lose, Joshua.”
“I know.” Joshua smiled sadly. “I almost did lose him once. Believe me, I know.”
Van said goodbye to Benji in the tiny foyer, taking his time holding him close to his chest, breathing him in. Kissing him with long, slow strokes of his tongue, nibbling lips with his teeth. Memorizing Benji for many long nights to come without him. It hurt, letting him go, but it helped knowing he’d be back. This goodbye was temporary.
Benji pulled his head down so they could press their noses together. “I know you aren’t ready to say it yet, but I do love you, Van. I’ll miss you so much.”
“Me too.”To all of it.
