Emmett shook his head sadly. “No, it’s fine. See you later, Van.”
“Later.”
He watched Emmett walk down the street, shoulders hunched, probably feeling responsible for ruining Van’s night—which he hadn’t. Van would have been worse off in the morning when Joshua dropped the boyfriend bombshell.
Still, as he turned around to drive home, he couldn’t completely decide if he’d dodged a bullet, or missed out on something potentially great.
THREE
This is a mistake.This is stupid. You’re wasting time and gas. Turn around. Go back.
Except Benji Moore was almost to his destination, so turning the car around and going back to the hotel when he could barely keep his eyes open would only result in a car accident. He didn’t need to be in another accident. The last one had fucked with his head enough, thank you very much.
He was supposed to be winding down after a performance with his band, enjoying a few drinks and mingling with fans, not carefully maneuvering his way along Coastal Highway to find his boyfriend’s temporary residence. Fading Daze had a gig every night in Virginia Beach until Sunday, but tonight’s venue had to shut down after a massive grease fire in the kitchen filled the place with smoke and fumes. Bobby, Danielle, and Andy had all decided to hit up some of the VB nightlife. Benji had begged off, like he usually did.
And then on the biggest whim of his life, he’d hijacked their rental car and begun the two-hour drive north to talk to Joshua in person. He couldn’t put it off anymore. Joshua needed to know, so they could finally decide if they were going to work as a couple.
He’d only begun to realize something about himself a few months ago, thanks to an offhand comment from Andy. Maybe Benji could finally make Joshua understand why he’d asked to close the relationship in June. If Joshua didn’t get it . . . well, maybe they’d been doomed from the start.
That can’t be true. I won’t let it be true.
From the moment he first met Joshua in an elective class in college, he’d been fascinated by the man. Joshua was confident, but slow to trust. He had a keen sense of humor and flirted with direct intent. And he’d very much taken the lead in pursuing a relationship with Benji, romancing him right into bed after only a few months of knowing each other, while always being forthright about not wanting to be exclusive. Benji hadn’t been entirely sure about that at first, but Joshua was under his skin. Joshua genuinely cared about him. They had a strong emotional connection that Benji had never had with a guy before.
And maybe Benji still clung so hard because Joshua was the only person he’d ever dated. The only guy he’d ever loved. He was terrified he’d never find that kind of love again, especially now that he understood why he’d never slept with anyone else these three long years, despite having permission to fuck around, once and done.
This is why you’re doing this. Keep going.
It was after two in the morning. Joshua would probably be pissed at being woken up, but at this point, Benji didn’t care. Even if he crashed on the couch and they talked in the morning, they were going to figure their relationship out this weekend.
He’d only been to the beach house apartment owned by Bobby and Danielle once, last month, to see members of both the defunct XYZ and the thriving Fading Daze together in one room to play music. The only thing missing had been Joshua.
Benji had allowed his anger over their most recent fight to simmer below the surface, and it’s probably what had givenhim the courage to flirt up one of the bartenders at Off Beat that Saturday. If Benji wasn’t enough for Joshua, then by God, Joshua wasn’t enough for him.
Except Joshuawasenough, and part of Benji had been relieved when the hot bartender bailed to go help out a friend. He hadn’t actually had to try having sex with someone else.
The GPS on his phone helped Benji find the right street, and he recognized the white, three-story home. Joshua’s car was in the driveway. The lights on in the front room surprised Benji. Maybe he wouldn’t wake anyone up after all.
He parked and got out, not surprised by the lingering summer humidity in the air. Virginia Beach had been rife with it, too. A tremor raced through his shoulders and down his spine as he climbed the short flight of steps to the front door. He pushed the doorbell with a shaking finger.
The storm door flew open. “Hey, Van, I thought you bailed,” Joshua said with a bright smile that shifted instantly into slack-jawed surprise.
Benji’s gut rolled. “Who’s Van?”
“What are you doing here? I thought you guys were in Virginia Beach this weekend.”
“Our gig got cancelled tonight, and I needed to see you.” The lack of a warm welcome shouldn’t have surprised Benji as much as it did. It also hurt a little. “We need to talk.”
“At two in the morning?”
Irritation rippled over Benji’s skin. “You look awake to me. Or was that only because you had a hookup on his way over? Now that it’s me, you’re too tired?”
Joshua blinked, not used to Benji’s temper being directed at him. Benji had been content to roll over and let Joshua lead their relationship for the last three years. Not anymore.
“Come in,” Joshua said. He nudged at the screen door.
Benji went inside, grateful for the cool caress of the air conditioning. He hated intense heat and humidity, and he had no idea how Lincoln had spent the summer here without melting. The faint hum of music trickled out from the hallway, but the house was otherwise silent. He moved to stand near the couch while Joshua locked up.
“Van is a bartender I met tonight,” Joshua said as he turned, finally answering Benji’s question. “I gave him my number. He called and said he was on his way over, but then Emmett got here a little while ago and said Van changed his mind.”
