Didn’t mean he wanted to talk about it.
“It’s not my health, okay?” he added. “I’m sorry if I’ve been a little off this week.”
She frowned. “Something happened, clearly.”
Actually, nothing happened and that’s part of the problem.
Sometimes he hated Emmett for telling him about Joshua’s boyfriend. Maybe if he’d kept his mouth shut, Van would have gone through with the hookup and gotten it out of his system. Except that was stupid, because Benji had shown up at the house that same night, so catching Joshua having sex with another guy would have complicated things even more. Maybe beyond repair.
It was better that Van stay the hell away from their relationship.
So why couldn’t he stop thinking about both of them?
“No way,” Beatrice said. “You’re kidding me.”
Van blinked hard. “What? What did I do?”
“Van Holt, are you actually, finally in love?”
He startled so hard his elbow banged off the lockers behind him. Fire lanced up his arm. “Fuck!”
Sasha, who’d been halfway through the door, turned and marched right back out.
“Okay, maybe not in love yet, but you’ve met someone.” Beatrice squealed like a teenager, red curls flying around her face. “Oh my God, who is it? He? She? They?”
Van huffed in response, because he had no real ability to lie to Beatrice. “Look, I met someone I’m interested in, but he’s in a relationship that is newly exclusive, so that put the brakes hard on anything happening.”
“Oh. Well, that sucks balls for you, but you’re a good man for not interfering no matter what your dick tells you.”
He’d always thought of Beatrice more as a big sister than a mother-figure, but it was still weird hearing her talk about his dick. With a few minutes still before they opened for the night, he gave her a brief overview of last weekend’s trip and the real reason for his calling out of work. Getting the pair to make up, and then watching them be so drunk and adorable together.
“But Sunday morning, things got super-weird. I’m honestly not sure whose idea it was, but they were both kind of intimating that they’d be open to including me in a threesome.”
Beatrice’s eyes went wide. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. But before anyone could actually ask, I kind of made my excuses and bolted.”
“You ran?”
“Yes?”
“Well, that’s not like you at all.”
Van leaned against the bank of lockers, not caring that a lock was digging into his back. “It would be too damned complicated, Bea. They were in an open relationship for three years, and had only closed it the day before. Plus feelings were already involved, so a threesome would have made things worse.”
Her expression softened. “You have feelings for both of these boys?”
“I’m hella attracted to both of them, and I really enjoyed hanging out with them. It hurt walking away, even though it was the right thing to do. So, yeah, I guess I have feelings for them.”
Music from the VJ booth began thumping through the walls, signaling opening time.
“Did I do the right thing?” Van asked.
“I can’t tell you that, honey, but I’ve never heard you second-guess yourself before, not about anything. That should tell you something.”
With a sad smile, she left the break room.
More confused than ever, Van gave himself a moment to settle his jumping nerves and focus on his job, then went to join Sasha behind the bar.
