And didn’t I kind of?
Fuck, but he needed to talk to someone about this. Lincoln and Emmett had been in and out of the house a few times, their voices muffled. Doors opened and shut. Lincoln had found Joshua that morning, curled up in a ball on the living room floor,and Joshua had told him what he’d done. After putting him to bed, Lincoln hadn’t bothered him again. And Lincoln also hadn’t shown any sort of judgment, which was nice. Lincoln had known Benji longer, been in a band with him for two years, but he was still being decent to Joshua, and that meant a lot.
Lincoln would listen, but he also had a stake in this as one of Benji’s friends. Dominic? Same problem. Joshua wasn’t comfortable confiding in Lincoln’s boyfriend, so Emmett was out. He was friendly with his coworkers, but no one really got his relationship with Benji. His family was totally out of the question.
It sucked that at the age of twenty-four, he had very few good friends.
I truly am a workaholic.
He’d lucked into his IT job directly out of college, and he’d had it ever since, working upwards of sixty hours a week. Seeing Benji when he had a chance. Hooking up to scratch an itch when he needed the stress release. He’d slowed down because of the car accident, but when he was cleared to return to work, he’d been restless. Bored.
And he was the same way here at the shore. No coworkers to chat with, no clients to entertain with stories. No actual job to do, and now without Benji . . . he’d well and truly hit bottom. So, he stayed in bed and wallowed until Saturday morning, when Lincoln and Emmett tag-teamed him into getting up and taking a shower.
They made him sit through a pancake breakfast, while they both joked about some of the antics at Off Beat the night before. Lincoln bar-backed sometimes too, and he and Emmett had seen some decent live acts. The friendliness gave Joshua hope that he wouldn’t be punted out of his rented room sooner than planned.
It also reminded him that he’d been expecting Van on Thursday night, only to have Benji arrive instead. In all of the stress over his relationship, he’d forgotten Van never showed. Or had he showed and peeked inside, only to see Joshua and Benji arguing?
He had Van’s number, because Van had called to confirm their date. After he finished eating and put his plate in the sink, Joshua hunted around for his phone. He found it in the living room, under a stack of sheet music. Ten percent battery left. One of the many chargers in the house was in the kitchen, but with Lincoln and Emmett still fussing around in there, he took his phone into his room to connect it.
While it charged, he sent Van a text:Hey, it’s Joshua from Thursday night. I didn’t hear from you after our call.
He didn’t want to sound too creepy, considering he’d waited a day and a half since their planned hookup to reach out, so he added:Ping me back so I know you didn’t die in a horrible car wreck on your way to meet me.
Snickering at the morbid humor, considering, he sent the text.
Less than ten seconds passed before a reply came through:Ping.
Very funny.
Joshua:Change your mind about having a little fun?
Van:I don’t do other people’s boyfriends. Too complicated.
He could sympathize with that. He’d always made it clear with his hookups that it was a one-off deal, so he rarely had to bring up the whole open relationship thing. Except?—
Joshua:Who told you I had a boyfriend?
Van:Emmett. Gave him a ride since going same direction.
He could throttle Emmett for sticking his nose into things. He could also kiss him for it. If Benji had shown up while heand Van were getting down, things could have gone a whole lot worse.
Worse than breaking up?
Joshua:If it helps, we broke up.
Van’s next reply took longer:Why?
Joshua:Complicated. I’d like to talk to you about it. Need an unbiased, outside opinion on everything that’s happened.
Van:No other friends?
Joshua:Sadly no. My friends are Benji’s friends. I’m a recovering workaholic badly in need of making my own friends. Interested?
Van’s reply was an address and 3:00 p.m. Joshua put the address into his GPS. Not too far, maybe a few blocks. Van hadn’t outright said, “Yeah, sure, let’s be buddies,” but this was a start. A chance to meet and talk, without a bar top between them.
Despite the connection he’d felt with Van during that initial handshake, Joshua’s breakup with Benji was still painfully fresh, and he truly wanted nothing more out of Van than friendship. And with his declaration of Joshua’s love life as “too complicated,” he was fairly certain Van was on the same page.
He hoped.
