“I’m sorry you missed your show.”
“I’m not. I need to be here, for you and for Van. If we’re a triad, we have to handle crises together, right?”
“Yeah. I wish I knew what happened yesterday, you know?”
“I know.”
“Benji?” Van’s voice startled them both into jumping apart.
Joshua sloshed coffee on his hand but didn’t seem to notice. Van sat up slowly, rubbing the heel of one hand into his eye. Awake and aware, and Benji’s heart trilled.
“Hey, you.” Benji climbed into bed and pulled Van into a tight hug, relieved when Van hugged him back. The mattress bounced, and then Joshua was there, holding them both.
“What are you doing here?” Van asked.
“Came to see you. Joshua said you had a bad day yesterday.”
Van shuddered.
“You don’t have to tell us right now,” Joshua said. “I’m happy that you’re talking to us again. You scared me.”
“I’m sorry.” Van rested his head on Joshua’s shoulder, so young and vulnerable in that moment. “So sorry about yesterday.”
“It’s okay. When you’re ready, I hope you’ll tell us what happened. You hungry?”
“Yes. But that requires moving.”
Benji didn’t want to leave their huddle of love and support either, but he was kind of starving, too. “We can cuddle more after we eat. How’s that sound?”
“Sounds good.”
They disentangled and wandered into the kitchen. Benji plunked Van directly into a chair and poured him some juice. Joshua went about fixing them all toast with sliced avocado and raw honey. Fruit on the side.
“Good God, you’re rubbing off on him, Van,” Benji teased. “Joshua used to think a healthy breakfast was a toaster pastry on the go.”
Joshua wiggled his eyebrows. “I like it when Van rubs off on me.”
The corners of Van’s lips tilted into something close to a smile. “I like that too.” He nibbled at his toast with no enthusiasm, but he did drink all the juice. “So how many people did I freak out?”
“Pretty much everyone,” Joshua replied. “When you didn’t show up for work, Beatrice called me. The phone chain expanded from there.”
“How did you know I’d go to the beach?”
“You told me once it’s one of your favorite places to clear your head. Do morning yoga.”
Van grunted. “Or to freak out where no one can find me.”
“Yeah, well, next time don’t freak out in Arctic water, okay?”
“Deal. I don’t remember the cold.”
“You were deep into your own head at that point.”
“I didn’t lash out, though, right?” Van’s eyes widened. “I didn’t hurt you trying to protect myself, did I?”
Joshua squeezed his wrist. “You didn’t lay a finger on me, I promise. You barely reacted. It was like you were in shock, but none of us know why.”
Van pushed his chair away from the table, but he didn’t stand. He stared at his hands, which he clasped in his lap, head bowed. Benji watched him, silently pleading to tell them what was wrong so they could help him fix it. “It’s a long story with a very tragic ending.”
