“Sort of?” I look away, not wanting to see her face when she responds to that. My mom is great at keeping her mouth shut, but not so good at keeping her expression off her face. It’s whywe never told her any secrets. She’d keep them, but a few well-placed questions and she’d give it away without saying a word.
“I know you know this, but if you don’t communicate, people can’t give you what you need. Aaron seems like a wonderful young man who’s clearly infatuated with you. I can’t think of a single reason why he wouldn’t want to date you. For real.”
“Mom…”
“A mother knows these things. I can tell by the way he looks at you. You should tell him. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“He could tell me that I imagined the whole thing and that he never wants to see me again. Then take my car and head back to Cardinal Falls without me.”
She snorts. “I’ve missed you so much. All of that is highly unlikely, but even if it did happen that way, I can assure you that you’d be okay.”
I let my head fall to one side, making sure she sees the way I roll my eyes.
“Ollie, we’d get you through it, just like we always do. I’d even let you take my car so you could get home.” That part is a little tempting. She’s got an excellent littleBMW235i that I would love to steal. It was her splurge gift once she no longer needed to drive a whole bunch of kids to practices and rehearsals.
“I could take the car either way.” It’s worth a shot.
“I don’t think so. Why don’t you talk to Aaron first, and then we can discuss it?”
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me? We’ve been doing whatever this is for months now. I did everything in my power not to fall for him. Nothing worked. Now, I’m afraid that I’ve fallen in love with someone who could never love me back.” Guess I’m telling my mom before I tell him. Even saying the words out loud, after weeks of having them sitting on the tip of my tongue, is freeing.
“Baby, that’s always a risk.” She reaches across the table and takes my hand. “I don’t think that’s the case. He’s here, in our home, spending Christmas with the whole Walsh clan. I might not always admit it, but we’re a lot. Spending a single hour here is a commitment. A holiday? That says something about him. And about what he thinks of you. Call it mother’s intuition if you want, but he’s in love with you, too.”
The oven timer dings, and she gets up to pull the cinnamon rolls out before they burn. How she always times it perfectly is beyond me. When I try, they either turn black or remain partially doughy. “Now, get over here and help me ice these. The grandchildren will be up soon.”
AARON
“We don’t even get Christmas off?” Oliver’s outrage is downright adorable.
“No days off,” I reply, pulling my beanie over my head. It’s bitterly cold today, so I’ve resorted to a pair of running tights instead of my shorts. Oliver stared for a whole minute after I put them on, trying to put together his thoughts. I have a feeling he’s trying to decide which one he likes more. The tights are a bit… snug. In my defense, I rarely wear them. They’re only for days like this, when the temperature dips low enough that I can’t possibly wear shorts.
“Aren’t you always going on about the importance of rest days?”
“Yes, but that’s different. Those are planned days. Plus, I’m still thinking about running.”
It’s true, getting a run in today is a part of my plan, but I’m most excited about the chance to have Oliver to myself for thirty minutes.
We spend the morning gathered around the Christmas tree, watching the kids open presents. Of course, there were a few for the adults, including me. I nearly cried when his mom handed me a package, my name written in ink across the top of the tag. Sure, it’s a silly pair of socks, exactly like the ones everyone else got, but I already know I’ll treasure them forever.
“Fine, but no promises about speed. I’m still digesting cinnamon rolls.”
“Same.” However, I limited myself to one. I lost count after Oliver inhaled three of them.
I have another motive for this run. I’m hoping we can talk about what happens next in our relationship. For that, I desperately don’t want an audience.
We start extra slow, Oliver leading since he’s familiar with the neighborhood.
He always takes a while to settle into a pace, so I have a few minutes to figure out what I’m going to say.
I’m afraid that I’ve fallen in love with someone who could never love me back.
That’s what he said to his mother this morning. I didn’t mean to overhear. I woke up alone and went looking for Oliver. When I was outside the kitchen, I heard them talking about me. He said it before I could leave.
The thing is, I’m in love with Oliver Walsh. That’s the one thing I know for sure. It’s a feeling that snuck up on me so slowly that I wasn’t sure exactly what I felt. Not until I heard him say those words.
As soon as I heard them, heard him admit to his own feelings, I knew. I may not have much experience in love, but there’s no other way for me to describe this sensation.
“So, how do you think the beta test is going?” It’s an easy question, I hope—a nice introduction to the discussion we need to have.
