I pull back into traffic and drive the few blocks to the diner. They’re busy, judging from the lack of open spots in the lot, but not so bad that we’ll have trouble getting a table. I’m thrilled to be proven correct when the hostess steers us toward one of the booths.
Once she’s handed off menus and promised our waitress will be over in a few minutes, I study Frank. He’s clearly exhausted, shoulders slumped forward as he studies the menu.
“So, where were you coming from?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“A meeting at CFCC.” His answer is short and crisp, as though he has no interest in telling me anymore. That’s fine, I can avoid prying. For now.
“Oomph. That’s quite a walk. Why didn’t you call someone?” The college is on the outskirts of town, which makes it difficult to walk. There’s public transit, of course, but the buses don’t run often.
“I figured I’d walk tonight and figure it out tomorrow.” Frank studies his menu with intense determination.
I’m not buying it. It’s frigid and dark out. I love being outdoors walking as much as the next person, but not enough to do that walk. Especially with the limited outdoor gear he’s got on. Not even a hat? His ears must be frozen solid. “Did you call Matthias?” I already know the answer. If he did, Matthias would’ve been there in a heartbeat.
“He’s working.”
“That’s not what I asked.” Matthias working late is nothing new. If anything, having Frank in his life has finally broken him of his worst workaholic habits. He’s got a ways to go still, but I’m slightly less concerned that he’s going to have a heart attack in his office at forty.
“No, I didn’t call Matthias.” The icy tone to his voice almost convinces me to back off. Almost.
I set my menu down on the table, ready to get into a serious talk. “He’s going to be pissed.”
Our waitress chose that moment to ask about our orders.
“Coffee and a chicken sandwich, please.” I give Frank a quick look over his order. It’s a little late for that much caffeine. He averts his gaze, but I know he sees me.
“Fries okay?”
“Perfect.”
“And you?” The waitress turns toward me, pen poised and ready.
“The meatloaf and a glass of ice water,” I order.
“It’ll be right out.” She pivots and walks off, already heading toward another table.
There’s a moment of silence between us, and I take the opportunity to text Matthias, letting him know I have Frank and will bring him by after dinner. Is that a dick move? Maybe, but I know Matthias well enough to know he’ll kill both of us if I don’t.
I give Frank a few more seconds of silence before I start again. “Matthias will be upset that you didn’t call him,” I say, broaching the subject.
“He’s busy tonight. Besides, I can take care of myself.” He sits up a little straighter. It takes all my self-control not to laugh at him. It wasn’t that long ago that I would’ve done the same thing. Afraid of being seen as anything less than a fully functioning adult. It’s a tough space at that age.
“I’ve known Matthias for over a decade. He works his ass off at that job, which I absolutely hate, but there has never once been a time that he was too busy to help one of his friends.” It’s what I admire most about Matthias. A lot of people say they’d do anything for their friends, but they aren’t willing to do it unless it’s convenient. Matthias would go to the ends of the Earth for his friends. Sometimes it might be a little overbearing, but it always comes from a good place.
“I—” Frank starts, but I cut him off.
“Nope, whatever you’re going to say, don’t.” He looks like he wants to interrupt, but I put my hand up. This is too important. “You might not have fourteen years under your belt with him, but he’s your boyfriend. If you called him, he would’ve dropped everything and come running. And, if for some reason he couldn’t, he’d have called one of us. And any one of us would have come to get you. No questions asked.” Frank might not realize it yet, but he’s well on his way to being one of us. Strange how our little group of four has expanded so much in the last year. First for Colt, then for Graham and Frank. And Oliver. My throat constricts at the thought of my sweet Oliver being included in our friend group.
“So, we could say that it worked out the same?”
I love that he’s trying to logic his way out of this situation. I shake my head at him. Somehow, I doubt Matthias will see it and think it’s funny. “I don’t think he’s going to see it that way. Look, I know Matthias can be a little overprotective, but it’s because he cares so much about you.”
“I know. I don’t want to screw things up.” My heart breaks at the emotion in his voice.
“I get that, more than you might think.” My whole life, I’ve wanted to prove that I’m good enough. Exceeding everyone’s expectations in the hope that it would finally prove I was worthy. It took me a long time and even more heartbreak to figure out that it wouldn’t work. The people who were there for me, like Matthias and his family, never cared about any of that. Years of keeping them at arm’s length, waiting for them to turn on me, didn’t change that. The only thing that went wrong is that I wound up missing out on all the best stuff, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. “I think the biggest way you can mess this thing up is by not being all in.” Pot meet kettle. I need to figure out how to take my own advice when it comes to Oliver. “And all in for Matthias means letting him help you with your problems. Even if you sometimes have to tell him to back the fuck off and listen.”
I give Frank a few minutes for my words to sink in. A memory pops into my mind, and I smile. It’s the kind of story I wouldn’t usually tell. It makes Matthias look like the hero, but I wind up looking like a total loser.
“Did Matthias tell you about the time I got stuck in a tree?”
