Fuck. He’s making it so hard for me to take this slow.
The drive back to his place is mostly quiet. A few times, Oliver asks a question about a place we pass, but otherwise, there’s comfortable silence between us. It gives me time think about how I want to end the evening.
It’s been weeks since the two of us did anything physical. I know Olivers anxious to get us back in the bedroom. I am, too, but I also know how often I’ve screwed up relationships by focusing on the physical components. Everything in our screwed-up friendship and friends-with-benefits starts and ends with sex.
And, if I’m being honest, that’s true about a lot of my relationships. Oliver is special. I want this to be different. That means I have to put what my cock wants aside for the night—and maybe a few nights—and focus on the other aspects of our buddy relationship.
When I pull into the parking lot of Oliver’s building, I’m still not entirely sure what I’m going to do. All I know is that time is running out to make a decision. I walk him up to the main door, because I’m still a gentleman.
“Come up?” Oliver asks, his eyes sparkling as he bites his lower lip. It’s a hard offer to refuse, especially since I know we’ve both been looking forward to tonight for a while. It’s not hard to imagine the images running through his head, the two of us caught up in the throes of passion.
“Not tonight.” His face falls, and I’d do anything in my power to fix whatever it is he’s feeling inside right now.
“You didn’t have a good time?”
“I had a great time.” I put my finger under his chin and gently tilt his head up so that he’s looking at me. “Sex complicates things, and I want us to build something that’s not entirely physical. So, for tonight, I’m leaving you here.”
“You could still come upstairs. We could talk or watch something.”
I shake my head. I would kill for that kind of self-control, but I know exactly what will happen if I go inside with him. Once we’re safely away from prying eyes, I’ll have my lips and hands all over him, doing all the dirty things I’ve been thinking about for the last several weeks. It’ll be mere minutes before we’re stripped naked, and I’m enjoying the way it feels when our cocks bump against one another.
“You and I both know that’s not what would happen.” I lean in and brush my lips against his cheek. The way he sighs is almost enough to break my resolve. If that’s how he sounds froma chaste cheek kiss, I can’t wait to hear what he’ll sound like when his cock is buried deep inside me. “This is a good thing. I promise.”
“I trust you.” Those words hang heavy between us. I swallow hard, desperate to make sure I don’t let him down. It’s a tall order, one I’m not sure I can live up to.
I lean in again, hovering near his lips. Just because I’m not taking him to bed doesn’t mean we can’t end the date on a high note.
Oliver’s breath stutters before he leans in and captures my lips. My knees nearly give out when we touch; the only thing holding me up is my hand pressed against the wall. We’ve kissed before, many times, but always as part of foreplay on our way to the bedroom. This is entirely different, the way it lights up my whole body. Oliver moans and opens for me, our tongues tangling together. I’ve never experienced anything like this before.
We make out, devouring each other like it’s the last chance we’ll get until someone nearby clears their throat. Instinctively, I make myself big enough to hide Oliver from prying eyes. He’s the one who has to see his neighbors in the hallway every day. The last thing he needs is them giving him dirty looks.
“Sorry,” I say as I shuffle us a few inches so the man can get inside the building. He mumbles something as he walks toward the stairs, but I can’t make out any of the words. Probably for the best.
One look at Oliver and it’s clear what we’ve been doing. His dark hair is disheveled from my fingers running through his short locks, pulling in every direction, his lips dark and puffy from all the kissing. Who knows how long we’ve been out here? It feels like forever and yet not long enough.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say, taking a step back and adjusting my aching cock in my pants. If I stay here anotherminute, we’ll wind up wrapped around each other again. While I’m not complaining, I have no interest in turning either of us into a public spectacle.
“Yeah.” His chest is still heaving as he catches his breath.
“Sleep tight,” I say. I don’t know where that came from. I don’t say it to anyone else, but I can’t stop speaking to Oliver.
“Good night.” He lingers a moment, as though he’s unsure what to do, then taps his key fob against the door and disappears into the building. I stand frozen, watching until he disappears into the elevator.
I barely process the drive home, my whole body still floating on air after that incredible kiss. Inside, I strip down and go through my nightly routine. My face is red where Oliver’s scruff rubbed against my skin. As I dry my face, I press my hand against the sensitive spots, a reminder of how good it felt to have him close to me. I don’t know what that man is doing to me, but I can’t wait for him to keep doing it.
CHAPTER 18
OLIVER
Three dates. That has to be the threshold for restarting our physical relationship. Right?
Aaron hasn’t said anything, but on our second date, he once again left me at the front door of my building, thoroughly kissed and hard as fuck. Satiated and frustrated at the same time. He’s so sweet, coming up with exciting dates that aren’t too involved, but also aren’t the tired old fallbacks of restaurants and movie theaters.
Last weekend, we went to one of those paint-and-wine nights, both of us leaving with tragically flawed pictures that only vaguely resembled the fruit bowl in the middle of the room. If I squint—hard—I can make out the shape of a banana and nothing else. I’ll stick to my squids in space for the living room, but this painting has a place of honor in my bedroom. In part, because it reminds me of how incredible the night was. Neither of us could stop laughing. It’d be easy to blame the wine, but I only had half a glass.
The reality is that I’m falling head-over-heels for Aaron. In my opinion, our beta test is going swimmingly. Well enough that I mentioned him to my parents.
Not just my parents. I may have mentioned him on a family video chat. Which meant everyone suddenly needed a lot of details. Mostly ones I didn’t have answers to.
