I guess it’s chivalrous of him, but it’s killing me.
Which is probably why I’ve changed clothes four times in the last hour. The date still feels like a surprise, which is bugging me. I both want to know and don’t want to know. The only thing he told me was that I need to dress comfortably. And be prepared to get messy potentially. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’m comfortable in sweatpants, but I’m hoping we’re going somewhere where they would be inappropriate. I don’t need fancy, but after all this waiting, I’m willing to admit that my hopes are up a bit.
The buzzer on my apartment goes off. Fuck, he’s early.
Or someone’s lost, I remind myself. No hope up here. Just a very regular Tuesday night.
Which is why I sprint across the living room to hit the button to let him in. That or I’ve let a stranger into the building. Either way, I’ve got a whole ninety seconds left to get myself in order before whoever it is gets here.
That’s enough time to switch shirts one more time—the black one fits me better—and do a final clean, picking up all the strayitems I forgot about earlier. By the time there’s a knock on the door, I’m out of breath, but happy with the progress.
“Wow, you look incredible,” Aaron says as soon as I answer the door. I step aside to give him space to come inside while I grab my shoes and coat.
“So do you.” The relaxed jeans and sweater look amazing on him, but I do miss the little shorts. “Give me two minutes.”
“No rush.” Aaron waves me off as he wanders in, looking around. “Did you clean?” There’s no judgment in his voice, so I answer honestly.
“Yeah, I wanted to freshen the place up a bit.” I leave off the reason. The first time he was here, the place was… well, a mess. There’s no other way to say it. It’s how it usually is, but I like to ease people into that version of myself rather than making it my first impression. Tonight is technically our first date, so I’m hoping for a second chance.
He’s been here dozens of times now and seen it in all versions of disarray. Never once has he said a mean word. That’s partly why I wanted it to be extra nice tonight. I’m sure he looks around my place and nearly cries with disgust. For once, I wanted him to step into it and think that I’m a competent person who can maintain a home.
Aaron only nods. He doesn’t say that it looks nice or make any other comments; instead, he changes the subject. “Make sure you bring a warm coat, just in case.”
In case of what? Another question I doubt I’ll get an answer to anytime soon. I try to quiet my mind, to keep it from arguing with me. The lack of information is starting to get to me. I’m all for a bit of surprise, but this is torture.
“This enough?” I hold up my silver puffy coat for him to inspect.
“Perfect.”
At least I have Aaron’s seal of approval. Once my sneakers are on, I give the place a once-over, looking for anything I might have forgotten. With any luck, we’ll be back here soon and making our way to the bedroom.
“Ready?”
“Let’s do it.”
AARON
Oliver looks like he might throw up. A feeling I know well. All I’ve thought about for the last two weeks is this date. During that time, I’ve been through every emotion possible. I’ve landed somewhere between anxious and excited. It’s a weird sensation. Most of the time, I feel like I might vibrate out of my skin.
It’s Oliver. I’ve reminded myself of that a hundred times. It should be comforting, but instead it seems to kick things into high gear.
In a rare stroke of good luck, I find a parking spot on the street without having to circle the block a hundred times. Excellent because we won’t have to walk very far in the chilly evening. Winter has arrived in Cardinal Falls, bringing biting wind.
“Where are we?” Oliver asks.
“Near downtown.” I used to visit Matthias near here, back when we both had more time. It’s off the beaten path, but still bustling with plenty of folks who live and work in the area. “It’s super hip.”
I can practically hear Oliver scoff at the phrase. I don’t blame him. Usually, I would say the same, but there’s a great board game place here. It’s perfect for a quiet evening gettingto know each other a little better, not as friends but as potential boyfriends.
That word is still getting a little stuck, in both my mind and throat, not that I’ve had a lot of opportunity to say it out loud. I’ve imagined it, though, when I tell my friends one night at The Flaming Unicorn.
The walk from the car to the entrance of Above Board goes by far too quickly. I spent the entire time trying to decide whether I should hold his hand. Our fingers brush against each other a few times, but I never find the courage to do anything more. On the way back, I promise myself. Hopefully, I can hold up my end of that.
“Board games?” Oliver asks, a hint of excitement in his voice.
“Yeah, is that okay?”
“I’m going to kick your ass.”
