But shit, I think I could actuallylikeher. And I don’t want her to think I’m looking for a one-time thing. Although maybe she just wants to talk more out of the cold? Or maybeshejust wants a one-time thing.
I look from the door to her face and notice her smile start to fade.Fuck. Guess I can figure it out as we go.
“I promise you’re safe with me.” She elbows me lightly in the side.
I know she means it as a joke, but there’s something so adorably endearing about her offering that up. She has no way of knowing why that would mean a lot to me. And I don’t know if I’ve ever feltunsafe, but I’ve certainly had my fair share of feeling uncomfortable or even targeted when I’m with new people who might be around me for specific reasons.
I have a hunch Ellie has never made anyone uncomfortable in her life.
“I guess I’ll have to trust you.” I gesture for her to lead the way.
CHAPTER FIVE
ELLIE
My hand shakesas I unlock the front door with the shared building code. I push it open and glance back to make sure Matt’s close enough behind me to keep it open. Holy crap on a cracker he’s hot. How am I going to pull this off?
I lead him up the two short flights of stairs to my apartment, careful not to catch the toe of my heavy boots. The tripping hazard they present when I’mnotnervous is already high.
And right now my heart isracing.
I remind it we’re just trying to get laid, not getting hunted for sport. I played that conversation as cool as I could, but now I have to figure out how to actually make this happen. Oh god, this is going to be a top-five embarrassing moment. I can feel it.
Okay, deep breaths.Matt is hot and tall and giving major gentleman vibes. He mentioned his mom, so he’s probably a good person. I think that’s a thing. He also offered to walk me home and didn’t jump on the chance to come inside with me. So he’s polite and not just some fuckboy.
Oh crap.
He’s not just some fuckboy.
He’s totally going to turn me down. Ugh, he’s probably going to thinkI’mthe fuckboy.
I have to stop using that word.
At least he’ll probably do it really nicely. I still have to give it a go, right? He was practically handed to me on a silver platter. Feels like a sign from the universe. Have to shoot my shot and all that.
I muster the confidence of my alter ego fuckboy and take the last few steps to the door of my apartment. Trying to think about what Matt’s seeing for the first time, I study the entrance as I pull my keys out. The black paint is slightly chipped in some places, but overall the wood door has classic charm with its little brass knocker.
This place has become my home away from home over the past few months and I’m proud to call it mine. It’s small, only one bedroom, but the exposed brick and parquet floor give it so much character. And it’s just me here anyway.
Well, usually.
I think of the slight (okay, massive) mess I left in my room while I picked out my “time to get laid” outfit, and falter slightly. I guess I wasn’t thinking this night through fully. All right, this is probably just a one-time thing anyway, and anyone who can’t handle my disorganized self probably wouldn’t work out in the long run if it came to that.
Squaring my shoulders, I turn the key in the lock and push the door open with my arm, angling myself to let him through.
Matt smiles at me and then walks in, pausing in the entryway as he waits for me to shut and lock the door. He’s still smiling when I slip my shoes off and hang up my jacket.
“What?” I ask him, my own grin growing on my face.
“Nothing. This is cute. Is it just you here?”
I narrow my eyes at him.
He laughs and shakes his head. “Oh man, is that like a classic Ted Bundy line?”
I preen at the notion he remembered what I said all those weeks ago. “Just a little,” I tell him.
“I just meant because it seems small.” Matt winces. “Not that that’s a bad thing,” he rushes to explain. “I’m gonna shut up. Can I put my jacket there?” he asks, pointing to the wall rack where I hung mine.
