“But you could see it in IMAX, Dad! I bet Uncle Terry would go with you too. He loves those movies,” I tell him.
“Terry seems like the type to talk during movies,” he grumbles. “But anyway, I just used to go with your mom and I don’t think I’m ready to go without her. It’s really okay, sweetie. I’m excited to watch it at home in a couple months. Maybe we can even watch it together on one of your visits.”
It takes me a moment to process what he just said. My dad doesn’t want to go to the movies without my mom. My mom who has been gone for just over five years.
They used to go to the movies at least once a month,if not more. It was their standard date night—dinner at the local dine-in theater. I always just assumed he was still going occasionally over the past few years.
I try to swallow that stubborn lump, but it’s getting bigger and I’m starting to worry I won’t be able to talk through it.
My dad doesn’t go to the movies anymore.
I clear my throat in an attempt to get words through. “Yeah, that sounds nice, Dad. Hey, I actually have to run, but I want to hear about your talk this week, okay? Let me know how it goes,” I rasp.
“Okay, sweetie, sounds good. Have a good day at work. Love you,” he finishes.
“Love you too.” I hang up the phone with a shaky finger and take a few breaths.
No one tells you that when one of your parents dies, you can lose the other one too.
I love my dad to pieces, but he’s just…a shell of who he once was. It was so brutal to witness it in person that moving felt vital to me justsurviving. But sometimes we have calls like this and I want to crawl home and hug him tight and take him to the goddamn movies.
Moving here is the most selfish, necessary thing I’ve ever done. I’m not sure if I’ll ever forgive myself.
A nice thingabout my job is it’sliterallydangerous to let your mind drift. Staying focused is vital to keeping people safe and healthy and it means I can’t dwell on the conversation with my dad from this morning. It also means I can’t fantasize about seeing Matt tonight, if he decides to use his key after the game. I haven’t seen him since he slept over last week and my bed has started to feel very…not full of Matt.
I don’t like it.
“Hon?”
I glance up from the chart I’m working on to see Maggie leaning over the counter looking at me. She’s the charge nurse and one of my favorites here at General—her gentle demeanor a painful but still welcome reminder of my mom. She’s got graying blonde hair cut into a cute bob and laugh lines that speak of a good, long life. I give her a smile. “Hey, what’s up?”
She doesn’t smile back, instead giving me her work face. I set my pen down.
“Just got word we’ve got a VIP en route from the arena,” she says.
“The hockey arena?”
Maggie nods. Something cold creeps down my spine, my back reflexively straightening. “A VIP?” I ask. I haven’t heard that term used here before. “Like one of the players?”
“Yeah. They said EMS is about three minutes out.”
There’s a ringing in my ears growing louder as I try to stem my impending panic. I look down at my hands and squeeze them into fists to stop the tremors.
It’s probably not even him. There are two teams there tonight, plenty of players. How many are on a team? Shit, I don’t know anything about this stupid sport. He’s only one guy though so the odds are pretty good, right? But I know he gets a lot of ice time…
Okay, I need to breathe. “Wait, don’t they usually fix them up at the arena?” My voice cracks and I look up at Maggie. “I thought they have people for that,” I say quickly, desperation slipping into my tone.
Maggie’s brow pulls low and I catch her eyes studying my face with interest. “You know someone on the team, honey?” she asks quietly, leaning in toward me.
I debate for a half a second before thinkingscrew itand giving a jerky nod. Maggie isn’t a gossip, and if this means she’ll share more with me, I’ll risk it.
Her face softens. She reaches over and puts a hand on one of mine. “I’m sure it’s not him, Ellie, whoever he is. They have a lot of players there at the games. I’m sorry I don’t have any other information.” She seems to hesitate a moment before speaking again. “Are you gonna be okay working on this one with me? I can ask Darnell to switch over his patient to you if you’d prefer,” she offers kindly.
I give myself a mental shake and put my big—professional—girl panties on. “Of course, I’ll be fine. I’ll meet you at the doors in just a minute,” I let her know, doing my best to bury the panic in my voice.
She watches me for a moment before giving a quick nod and heading toward the ambulance entrance.
Okay.Okay. It’s probably not Matt.
