Fun?
That’s all she can say after what we shared?
“At least, stay here tonight.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t, or won’t?” I challenge.
She lifts her chin defiantly. “My ex is leaving early and I have to go back to my real life.”
“Oh.” My shoulders fall in defeat. This is it, then. There’s no use in arguing. She’s a good mom, and it’s not her fault that Edward’s father is bailing early. I only wish we had a little more time together. After everything we’ve shared, this feels so abrupt. So unfinished. I don’t know what to say.
She steps around me, opening her door. This time I don’t stop her.
My heart sinks, my entire body frozen in place as as she slips inside her car and starts the engine.
She doesn’t hesitate.
She doesn’t even look back.
Like she doesn’t realize she’s completely shaken my world and left a mark on my heart—branding me so I’ll only ever belong to her.
But she doesn’t know.
At least, she must not. Because if she does and she’s leaving anyway?Fuck.I’m not sure there’s anything more brutal.
Inside, my soul screams to run after her. But my brain stops my feet from moving. She’s done. She’s leaving. Nothing I do or say will change her mind.
I lift my hand in a wave that’s so casual and not at all in line with how I feel.
She doesn’t return it.
I watch her drive away, her taillights disappearing between a wall of trees at the end of my driveway. She takes a piece of my soul with her. A better man wouldn’t let her go. A better man would fight to make her stay. But I’m not a better man, at least not the kind she’s willing to take a chance on. She set boundaries, and I’d be a dick to not respect them. She doesn’t want more—not with me.
I can’t help but wonder if she believes what everyone else does. That I’m incapable of responsibility. That I’m not someone you start a relationship with, I’m just someone to fuck. Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be, but if that’s true, then why does it feel like my entire world just fell apart?
21
ROSALIE
My eyes train forward,watching the road and refusing to look back. I don’t want to see the hurt in Jackson’s eyes, or the pain I put there. Because if I do, I might be tempted to turn this car around.
It doesn’t matter, though. This is real life, and I can’t be with someone like Jackson Wilder. He doesn’t want more. Not really. Sure, maybe we could have drawn out our sexcapades, but for what? For it to hurt more later when he realizes my real life is not at all like this last week, and I’m left to pick up the pieces? No, thank you. I’d rather be the one to end things on my terms. If we try to make this work, it will only get more complicated. I’ll only get more attached.
I’m making sure that doesn’t happen.
I’m alone. Just like I want.
So, why does this feel like the last thing I want?
Why does doing the right thing feel so fucking wrong?
I wish things were different. I wish he wanted a family. Or rather, I wish I could be the woman I’ve been all week in my real life. The person who he grew to want around for more than a few nights. But he doesn’t want me. Not the real me. This is a façade, and Jacksondoesn’t know who I am. No one does. I’m not brave enough to allow anyone to ever get that close.
I think of his face when I told him thank you, this had been fun.
My words cut him. Caused him the exact pain I was desperate to avoid. Hurt crossed his face as they landed. I should feel relief in what I did, but I don’t.Fuck.My eyes fill with tears.
