He hurt her.
My girl.
And he wasfucking proud of it.
More tears dropped, and I almost stopped taking in the words. Looking at the glass on the floor as I wondered how painful it would be to drag it across my throat. But I had to know how bad it was, and I had to apologize for it before I did anything else.
She was tight when I slammed inside her.
But I liked it.
She didn’t. . . she didn’t like me touching her.
She cried, begging me to stop.
But I wouldn’t.
Maybe you’ll be happy to hear that Daddy dearest was watching the whole time. Proud of us, for once.
Congratulations, Woodrow, you lost your virginity last night, and it was with the girl you love.
I choked on a sob, feeling sicker than I ever imagined being. One hand reached for my mouth, the other threw the details of the night across the room. I launched to my feet and rushed to the door, yanking the chair out of the way, not caring about the racket it made falling into the distance.
I stepped into the hall in time to see my father shuffling my mother into their room, a bandage wrapped around her thigh as she limped.
“Momma. . .” I tried to talk, stopping dead in my tracks.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” Her voice was cold and distant, but that was nothing new.
“Momma, I‘m so sorry.” I stepped forward, my hand out to reach for her.
She turned away, as always, shunning me, also,like always.
“I don’t know why he did it.”
“Don’t worry, hun,” my father said, accepting almost all of her tiny weight. “We found a way to control him last night.”
She twisted her neck to gaze up at him.
His words had hate rising to my mouth, and I didn’t want the taste in my mouth. “Shut the fuck up. I know what you did!” I was getting louder and louder as I stepped closer. I controlled myself, partly because I didn’t want to intimidate my mother, but mostly because I didn’t want to risk another switch. I let out a painful breath—one I didn’t deserve—and then I continued, “How the fuck could you sit back and watch as he did that to her! How could you be proud!”
“Woodrow, it’s time you learned that sometimes God works in mysterious ways. Doing this, controls you. That helps us as a family. Family is what is important.”
“And what about her.” I pointed down the hallway to the room where Jolie stayed. “We welcomed her into this family!” I struggled with my emotions, trying and failing to keep them from the surface, just in case I wasn’t the one dealing with them when they got there.
“It’s not as bad as you think, kid. This way, she lives. . . as long as you behave. Any other master would kill her, in time. You don’t have to do that. She’s yours to do with as you will. To keephimin line.”
“I can’t hurt her like you expect me to. I can’t do that to her. I love her. I love her too much to ever want to do something like that to her again.” I looked to my mother, trying to reach the soul that slipped away before I was born. “Momma, please—” I begged, clutching the beads around my wrist.
“She doesn’t know what happened, and she’s too high on pain pills to discuss this right now!” my father’s stern words cut me off.
“I won’t hurt her again.” But I hurt myself shaking my head in confirmation.
“In time, you will.” He laughed, and the vodka scent from his breath drifted into my nostrils and choked me. He’d had more to drink this morning. “You’re your father’s son, after all.”
“I won’t. I’m nothing like you. I won’t.” I said it so many times, I felt like I was trying to convince myself.
“Take me to bed.” My mother ended our conversation, just as the door to Jolie’s room opened and pulled my attention down the hall.
