Every day in this room, I think about her. About everything we wanted. A real life. Kids. Quiet mornings. Something normal. I don’t know if we’ll ever get it now. I’m furious with Gino for sending me here alone, for not listening to anyone. Juliet warned him. Everyone did. And now I’m paying for it.
All I can do is survive and hold on to the hope that somehow, I’ll get back to her.
TWENTY-SEVEN
VANESSA
Mateo has been gone for almost four months, and I’ve been losing my goddamn mind. Gino won’t give me any real information about where Mateo is or what’s happening to him. All I’m told is that they’re doing everything they can and that I need to focus on the babies. I’m honestly starting to resent Gino and the rest of the guys. I get not wanting to scare me, but this is getting out of hand.
I’ve built a routine over the last few months just to survive. Every morning I wake up, get ready, eat breakfast, and then walk to Gino’s house. Alonso lives with me now. I can’t bring myself to move into Gino’s house, just in case Mateo comes home. Alonso stays in one of the guest rooms downstairs so he’s close to the front door if anything were to happen.
This morning I decide enough is enough. I’m six months pregnant, and I can’t keep living like this. I’m in a constant state of fear, waiting for the moment Gino walks in and tells me something is terribly wrong. It isn’t healthy for me or the babies. I know I’m supposed to stay busy, but I can’t anymore.
“I’m going over to Gino’s,” I say to Alonso as I walk into the kitchen.
He freezes with a spoonful of cereal halfway to his mouth. “Oh shit. What are you about to do?”
“Give Gino a piece of my mind,” I snap.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” I let out a dramatic sigh.
Alonso and I have built a strong friendship over the last few months, and this isn’t the first time I’ve tried to march over to Gino’s to give him a piece of my mind. Every time, someone stops me. Usually Alonso.
“Gino’s doing everything he can,” he says. “I’ve been in the room when he’s working. You going in there angry is just going to add more pressure.”
Before I can argue, his phone rings. I can see Gino’s name on the screen. Alonso listens in silence, barely responding.
“Yeah,” he finally says. “We’ll be right over.”
He hangs up.
I look at him, panic rising in my chest. “What is it?”
“Jake got hurt. Not bad enough for the hospital, but Gino wants you to take a look at him.”
“Okay. Let’s go.”
I go straight into nurse mode, grabbing the bag I keep stocked with supplies. Gino has a full medical room, but there are things I like having on hand. Even though his house is less than a ten-minute walk, we drive. If someone’s hurt, every minute matters.
We’re there in less than three minutes. Alonso opens the front door, and I hurry inside. The medical room is in the basement next to the safe room. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I see Gino standing in the doorway.
“What happened?” I ask.
“Jake was getting intel from another family and got into a fight. He drove himself back about twenty minutes ago.”
“Okay, I’ll take a look.”
Jake is sitting upright on the table. Juliet is cleaning the cut above his eyebrow.
“Thanks, Juliet. I’ve got it,” I say softly.
She gives me a look and pulls Gino out of the room.
I silently get to work. Jake has a few cuts on his face and hands, a split lip, and he’ll definitely have bruises along his ribs in a few days. I clean each wound carefully to make sure nothing gets infected. Thankfully, he doesn’t need stitches.
“Keep everything clean,” I tell him. “If anything turns dark red or swollen, come find me. I don’t want you getting any infections.”
