“Don’t what?”
“I don’t want you to be disappointed. You’ve probably slept with hundreds of women. But I also don’t want you thinking I’m easy.”
“You’re the farthest thing from easy,” I tell her. “And for the record, I haven’t slept with hundreds of women. How much time do you think I actually have?” I roll my eyes.
She snickers, then laughs. Really laughs. The sound of it is sweet and unguarded, and for a second my brain stalls completely.
Then I groan and lean back in, kissing her again. She doesn’t stop me, so I keep going. At this point, we feel like teenagers sneaking around behind her parents’ backs.
Suddenly, police sirens cut through the air. She startles and jumps.
“You’d think I’d be used to those by now,” she says softly.
“You’re pretty jumpy, huh?” I joke. “Aren’t you used to sirens?”
“Surprisingly, no. You can’t always hear them inside hospitals. The EMTs turn them off once they pull into the parking lot. And when I do hear them, it just makes me want to help.”
Damn it, those soft eyes again.
The more I think about it, the idea of marrying this girl doesn’t sound so bad. But when does everyone plan on telling her? I could tell her right now, but then she’d assume that’s the reason I’m doing this.
I decide in this moment I need to wow her before I can do anything else. Before this turns into more than kissing. Because if I fuck her, there’s no going back, and I want her to know about the contract before that happens.
I also want to understand why she was crying before I walked out here.
I pull my hands away from her and say, “Tell me why you were crying.”
She shakes her head.
“Please,” I add, giving her a soft grin and the gentlest look I can manage.
“Um… if I tell you,” she says quietly, “you have to promise you won’t tell Gino, Uncle Kevin, or Aunt Lucy.”
I nod in agreement.
“I was crying because my life has been completely turned upside down,” she says. “And because I was thinking about my mom. I mean, I don’t remember her, obviously, but these last few days have made me think about everything I missed with her.”
She swallows, blinking hard.
“I held on to everything for so long. For years, I’d go into my room and cry after something good happened, because she and my dad weren’t there for it. Any time I won a race, after we got home, I’d cry myself to sleep wishing they’d been there to cheer me on.”
She sniffles, clearly about to cry again.
“Dad only ever came around on my birthday,” she continues. “He’d stay for one day. That was it. I knew he had other things to do, but he never called me. He always called Kevin.” Her voice wobbles. “They think I don’t know—but I do.”
She wipes at her cheek, then keeps going.
“I’d stay up at night listening. Uncle Kevin would have the phone on speaker in his office, and I’d sit outside the door just to hear his voice. He never asked about me. Not once. All he ever asked was if I was getting ready.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t even know what that meant.”
I can think of a reason, I think.
She’s letting the tears fall now. “My mother apparently made him promise not to drag me into what he was doing. But I guess he decided to do it anyway, regardless of what she wanted. I just… I wish he’d taken me with him after she died. His decision didn’t just affect him or me. It affected everyone around him.”
She inhales sharply, and I take that as my opening. I pull her into me, wrapping my arms around her as she cries softly against my chest.
We sit there for a while. Eventually, she lifts her head, and I see her eyes bright, red-rimmed, still glassy from tears. I press a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“It’s getting cold. We should go inside,” I whisper to her.
