“Your father doesn’t want to break a promise to a woman he loved.”
“I know, but why does he have to hide from me? I should find out where he lives and see him for myself.”
“That is not a great idea.”
“I know it’s not the best idea, but we’ve been here for two years, and he hasn’t even contacted you or Uncle Kevin.”
She gives me a sad look. “Your father asked us to take care of you because he knew we wouldn’t share anything we weren’t supposed to about his life before you were born.”
“Have you kept anything from me?”
“I…” She hesitates. “You know I can’t answer that.”
“I know you’ve hidden things from me, but why not tell me? It’s not like he’s going to come running if you share a few secrets.”
“There are some things your father needs to tell you himself, not me or Kevin.”
“Why doesn’t he just show up and say, ‘Vanessa, I didn’t actually want you. And the whole plan we came up with was bullshit.’”
“You know he doesn’t feel that way. I doubt your father would have you do all this work for him if he didn’t plan to reach out when the time was right.”
“Then why hasn’t he come to my apartment? The one we all know he bought for me. Or the hospital where I work. He has to know where I am at all times, right?”
“I’m not really sure about that. Kevin says he hasn’t seen anyone around or watching you.”
“That just proves my theory that he doesn’t actually care about me.”
“Yes, he does.”
“How do you know? Honestly, no contact after I did the one thing he asked of me.”
“Hey, look at me.” She grips my shoulders, forcing me to meet her eyes. “I’m going to tell you this once, and only once. Your father has spent his entire adult life caring for you and the others he loves. He would do anything to protect them, to keep them safe, even if that means he can’t be here in the flesh every second.”
She looks at me with tears in her eyes, like she knows more than she’s willing to say.
“Kevin would have told you anything he knows. So far, no one has told him anything at all, which he finds interesting, especially since no one has been following you or watching you.”
I have spent the past two years, and honestly longer than that, angry at my father. Disgusted with him. Wishing he could just be my dad for one day instead of whatever it is he does. Yeteverywhere I go, I feel like someone is going to jump out and know exactly who I am.
The friends I’ve made over the years know my mother died and that an aunt and uncle raised me. They believe my father is a businessman who travels the world, which is why I don’t see him often. Or really, ever. That is another promise. I’m not allowed to tell anyone who he is. He told me when I was sixteen, then walked out the door like he couldn’t look at me.
What he is, is a mafia don. One of the most powerful ones there is.
“Do you wish maybe that he just took me to New York when I was two? That you and Kevin didn’t have to move across the country for me?”
“I wouldn’t change what happened. I never wish for anything different, Vanessa. Your uncle and I would never have met if we hadn’t been sent to Salt Lake to take care of you.”
“I know you’ve told me this story before, but honestly, don’t you ever wish you could’ve been closer to your friends or family?”
“You know the story. My father owed a debt to your family at one point, and the only way to repay it was to have me work for them. When your father came to collect, I started working in his house. After your mother died, he asked me to be your nanny.”
“But then why does it have to be like this? Why didn’t he just leave us alone to be a family, if he’s only going to make me sit here and wait?”
I can see it in her eyes that there’s so much more she wants to say but doesn’t, or can’t, or won’t. Don’t get me wrong, I feel for her, but she and my uncle have always hidden things from me, and it feels like they should finally tell me what’s reallygoing on.
I glance at the clock. It’s already eight at night, and Kevin still isn’t home.
“How many errands did he have to run, Auntie? It’s already eight.”
