He opens the door, and there she is. The redhead I have been thinking about all night.
She’s wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and sneakers. Her hair is pulled into a messy bun on top of her head. She freezes when she sees us, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. Gino and I lower our guns in unison. She has clearly been crying and looks winded.
“Uh… can I help you?” Gino asks.
“Hi,” she says, her voice shaky but steady enough. “My name is Vanessa Esposito, and I think I’m your sister.”
THREE
VANESSA
A FEW HOURS EARLIER
Uncle Kevin and Aunt Lucy left my apartment an hour ago. Before they left, they told me everything about my father, including the fact that I have an older brother. They’re both upset they kept so much from me, but I understand. My father forced them into silence. He wanted to be the one to tell me himself.
Now that I know he’s gone, I don’t know what to do with that.
I sit alone for the next hour, staring at the Manila envelope Kevin left on my coffee table. It has my name written on the front. He swears he never opened it.
Finally, I pick it up and open it. Inside is a letter addressed to me.
He really thought he was going to die at any point.
Vanessa—
I realize that this letter needed to be written, just incase. I have pushed it off for too long, and now you’re almost finished with college. Before you come to New York, you need to understand what you’re stepping into.
I planned to tell you everything myself once you arrived. I never imagined I wouldn’t be able to. That is the only reason this letter exists.
I made your Uncle Kevin promise he wouldn’t give this to you unless he knew, without question, that I was gone. I wish more than anything that I could tell you all of this in person. I wish I could have been there for everything I missed. Your cross-country competitions. Cheer and volleyball practices. All of it.
I wanted to be there. But after your mother died, I couldn’t live inside the fantasy we had created anymore. I needed to come home to New York, but protect you at the same time. So I sent your Uncle Kevin and Aunt Lucy to take care of you. To be the parents you needed when I couldn’t be.
You and I made a deal when you were sixteen that after college you would come to New York and eventually work with me. This letter is me asking you, after my death, to help in whatever way you can—or want. You already know pieces of who I am and what I do, but there is more you need to understand.
There is someone just as important to me as you are, and I need you to be strong enough to care for him the way you’ve always cared for me.
Your older brother Gino is set to take my place. My plan was for you two to meet after you moved to New York, to become close, and work together. If that has already happened, I hope you’ve found the bond I always wanted for you. If it hasn’t, then I need you to find him. Help him.
I made many enemies in my lifetime. Once I am gone, they will come for both of you.
Together, you will be a force to be reckoned with. Everything I hoped my two children would become. Be who I know you arecapable of being. Be strong. Be independent. Be someone your brother can rely on.
Love,
Dad
I start crying again. He’s gone, and even now he’s asking me to be the strong one. He was always asking for something, wasn’t he?
Now anger takes over. Hot and relentless. I want to find this Gino guy and punch him. I won’t, obviously, but what the hell, Dad? Taking care of my brother too? Jesus Christ.
I change and grab my cross-body bag, phone, and keys and decide to meet this brother of mine. I found the address to his house in more documents in the Manila envelope.
If this is the life my father left me, then it’s time I face it. And it starts with my brother.
I take the subway as close as I can get, but the house is still about seven miles from the nearest stop. I decide to walk. Half a mile in, the weight of everything hits me again—my father, the brother I didn’t even know existed—and before I realize it, I break into a run.
I push myself as hard as I can, lungs burning, legs screaming, until my phone’s GPS tells me I’m a quarter mile away. Then I slow to a walk, forcing myself to steady my breathing.
