I delete those.
But the last voicemail…
My breath stutters.
“Jade… baby, I miss you. I miss us. I’m losing my mind. Please. Just tell me where you are. I’m going to find you.”
I shut my eyes so tightly it hurts.
Because I don’t know how to feel.
The man I thought I loved?—
the one who held me, kissed me, whispered promises into my neck?—
that man would have protected me.
He would have fought for me.
He wouldn’t have dumped me in the first place.
Right?
I grip the sheets until my knuckles go white.
Was any of it real?
Were the nights on the cliffs real?
The way he looked at me like I hung the moon?
The way his hands trembled when he touched my face?
Or was I just… rebellion?
A phase?
A trophy he didn’t get to pick out but enjoyed until it got complicated?
My chest hurts.
Like something sharp is scraping the inside of my ribs.
I stand.
Start pacing again.
My thoughts spiral, messy and loud.
“I can’t go back to him,” I whisper. “I can’t let him do this twice. I can’t. I can’t.”
My voice shakes.
“But… he sounded…”
I rub my eyes hard.
I’m so confused I don’t know which direction is up.
