Not that the love had faded. It hadn’t. But the emotion had changed, and he needed to do something to get it back. But what? His parents kept pushing the darn implants. Like it would fix the fact his child was broken. He loved his son but felt he’d let him down.
“Did you get a chance to call Blake and wish him a happy birthday?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I called right before my game. He was heading out to see the ice sculptures in Copley Square with Carli.”
The smile that illuminated his wife’s face was one he hadn’t seen much lately. Naturally, it wasn’t for him. None of her smiles lately had been in his direction. He missed that.
“I’m so excited to see those two getting along. You know how much I love Carli, and having her and Blake dating is fantastic.”
“Yeah, fantastic. Blake’s definitely smitten.”
“You sound like that’s a bad thing, Harry. Blake deserves someone special in his life, too.”
Special, like Annie was to him. His wife probably didn’t feel special lately. He’d been cold and distant, he knew, too busy trying to make sure the company was run exactly how Dad wanted it, making sure they were growing and prospering as much as possible. And researching these darn implants that his parents wanted. Thathewanted for his son. So he could have the best life possible. Right? Yes, implants would help him have the success that was expected as a Wentworth.
“Carli seems great. I hope it works out for them.” His tone could have been more enthusiastic, but right now he was lucky to care about anything other than what could be done for Parker.
The research he’d done was giving him the same information Carli had already passed on to them. Would the implants be enough to satisfy his parents? His mother was already complaining about them being too obvious and could they be made smaller. For Pete’s sake, his father had started making inquiries into possibly buying one of the companies that made cochlear implants. Did he figure he could get the medical engineers to create an implant that was smaller and better and still worked as well as what was out there now? They’d never been in the medical equipment business, so why did Dad think he could be successful in it now? Did he realize he was trying to play God?
Something tugged on his pants, and he looked down. Parker had crawled over and sat with his arms up, his signal he wanted to be picked up.
Bending down, he scooped his son into his arms, kissing his cheek. A high-pitched squeal erupted from the child’s mouth. No doubt he could make sound, but would he ever be able to speak clearly enough for his parents not to be embarrassed? A few times at their Christmas party, friends had commented on Parker and none of them seemed to know he had a hearing loss. Were his parents so high and mighty they thought they could sweep it under the rug and get it fixed before anyone found out? Had he been equally as bad? What if Parker never spoke as clearly as a hearing person? Would his parents sweep him under the rug, too? Banning him from family events or hiding him with a sitter so as not to embarrass them?
“Da.”
“Hey there, little man.”
Why was he even bothering? It wasn’t like Parker could hear him, but his son bounced up and down in his arms and gurgled some more.
“He loves the sound of your voice, Harry,” Annie said, coming up next to him.
He sighed and shook his head. “He can’t hear it.”
Annie ran her hand over Parker’s back. “I think he can. Remember the audiologist said that some tones are within his range, and the hearing aids amplify that. Your voice is low enough that I think he hears some of what you say.”
“It’ll be better once we get the implants done.”
Annie exhaled. “We don’t need to make any decisions about that yet. He still has four months of using the hearing aids before we need to revisit surgery, and I think he’s had some success with them.”
“Doesn’t matter. The audiologist said that hearing aids would never give him the auditory access the cochlear implants do, and even if they work okay, he’ll still qualify for the implants.”
Retreating slowly, Annie stared at him, her expression one he’d seen too often lately. Anger and disappointment.
“Do you honestly not care that they want to drill holes in our baby’s skull? Or that sometimes implants don’t work? Or they can cause seizures or facial tics? It’s more important for a Wentworth to be perfect?”
“Annie, stop. Of course, I care about all those things. But I’ve also done some digging, and those side effects aren’t as frequent as they used to be. Lots of people, even young children, get implants now and the surgery is more routine. Most patients don’t even stay overnight at the hospital.”
“He’s so young, Harry. I hate the thought of him being in pain and not understanding why. Lately, just him teething rips my heart out. I can’t even imagine what it’ll be like if he has surgery where they cut part of him open.”
Looking at his son, he hated the idea, also. Still, the thought of his parents and their displeasure ranked right up there with things he’d rather avoid. He’d lived with it all his life and didn’t want any more heaped on top of him. Could he ever do anything to prove he was worthy of them?
Annie took Parker from his arms and walked away, kissing the child’s cheek. Parker laughed again at his mother’s silly smooching.
“Daddy doesn’t believe in you, sweetie, but I do. Even without those stupid implants, I think you’ll be successful in anything you want to do.”
Turning at the sound of his wife’s soft voice, his heart ached. He believed in his son, and because of that, he would do whatever was necessary to make life easier for him.
Chapter fifteen
