“Hey, there, little guy.” Blake waved back, unsure exactly how much the hearing aids picked up. “Have you got Daddy to yourself today?”
“Yeah, Annie had to run a few errands, and it’s so much easier without the whirlwind here. He’s moving faster than a speeding bullet these days.”
Harrison placed him on the floor of the sunken family room and let him crawl around. Yup, he was quick. As the infant pulled himself up on the couch, Blake warned, “Looks like he’ll be walking soon. Then, there’ll be no rest for the weary.”
“I don’t mind. It’s great spending time with him. He won’t stay this small forever.”
“No, they don’t.” His brother did seem much calmer and more relaxed. It was good one of them was in a better place.
“Can I get you a beer or a soda?”
The idea of getting drunk had occurred to him, but he shook his head and settled on the chair opposite Harrison. “No, I wanted to talk to you. Get your take on some things.”
“Shoot.” Harrison glanced at him while making sure Parker was occupied safely.
“Do you love Parker any less because he can’t hear?”
His brother’s head whipped around, and a scowl crossed his face. “Why on earth would you ask that?”
“I’ve had some things on my mind lately and wondered. Does it make a difference in how you treat him?”
Harrison rested his forearms on his knees and ran his hand through his hair. Blake had the same habit. It usually meant something was bothering him.
“No, I don’t love him any less. Though I have to confess, for a while, I felt guilty, thinking it was my fault. Everything Dad heaped on me didn’t help, and I tried to distance myself from him. But he’s my son.” Harrison’s voice broke and Blake looked at him sharply. His brother’s mouth had screwed tight, pain etched across his features.
“What changed?”
Reaching out, Harrison tousled Parker’s baby fine hair, then pulled him in for a kiss on the neck. The baby giggled and squirmed, making cooing noises.
“The stress of making the decision about the implants was killing me. Annie and I were fighting so much it almost broke us apart. She threatened to leave me.”
“Oh, God. I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, the thought of her leaving and taking Parker gave me the kick in the pants I needed. I realized I couldn’t live without her or Parker, and as much as I wanted him to have perfect hearing, I knew the cochlear implants wouldn’t do that. So why chance surgery at such a young age when it wasn’t necessary?”
“You’ve decided not to have the implants?”
“Definitely not now. Once he gets older and can make that decision on his own, we can revisit it. But we aren’t making it for him.”
The sight of his brother cuddling Parker, who kept trying to stick his fingers in Harrison’s mouth, was like a blow to his sternum.
“You have no idea how envious I am of you right now.”
Pulling back, Harrison frowned. “The brilliant doctor is envious of his little brother who still works for our Dad?”
“You’ve done so much already, have so much. A beautiful, loving wife and a terrific child. That may never happen for me.”
After putting Parker back on the floor to play with his blocks, Harrison crossed his arms over his chest. “What are you talking about? You’re only a few years older than I am, and I’m pretty sure lots of women would be happy to marry you.”
Here was the crux of the problem. “I don’t want just anyone.”
“Carli?”
He nodded, the tightness in his chest spreading, threatening to incapacitate him.
“I thought you two were hitting it off.”
Swallowing, he tried to get rid of the huge lump in his throat. “We were, but something happened at the fundraiser, and she broke it off. Is actively avoiding me.”
