“I thought I told you to put something on that didn’t tempt me. You think that’s it?”
Okay, her shorts were short, but they were old and the tank top had seen better days. As Theo’s eyes drilled into her, she realized how snug the top was and that her nipples were quite apparent through the thin material.
Biting her lower lip, she shrugged. “Maybe I wanted to temp you.”
His lips twisted as he rose to his feet and crossed the room. “You definitely test my control, pixie. Are you done eating?”
At her nod, he steered her through the living room and sat her on the bench on the porch.
“Wait here.”
A minute later, he opened the door and Bandit dashed through and down into the yard. The kittens’ box was placed next to the bench. He tipped it on its side, so they could tumble out and play with the cat toys. Theo had been so good about her pets, and he’d taught Bandit to come when he whistled. They spent almost more time here than they did at her house.
“Back to our previous conversation.” Theo sat next to her. “I know it’s probably not pleasant to talk about, but I need to know everything about you, pixie. The more I know, the better I can deal with things if they arise.”
“Like me flipping out again.”
“I only want to understand what you’ve gone through and make sure not to do anything that will hurt you again.” Lifting her legs, he draped them across his, then rested his arm around her shoulder.
As she laid her head on his shoulder, she thought about what he said. He had a right to know the truth about her and her family.
“Why don’t you start by telling me about your mom?”
Taking a deep breath, she began. “When I was a little girl, I remember my mom being so amazing. Reading me stories, playing dolls, and brushing my hair. But little by little she stopped doing those things and mostly sat in her rocking chair. Sometimes, she’d sing a little song, and I’d dance to it. Or she’d let me climb into her lap, and she’d hold me tight. She used to tell me how much she loved me and that I was her precious angel.”
Tears filled her eyes as she remembered these occasions where she’d known love and acceptance. Her father might come in and ask her a few questions about what they’d done that day, then he’d kiss her mother’s head, but he rarely spent long periods of time with them. Too busy with his pharmaceutical company.
“I always made sure to tell her how much I loved her, too, but it didn’t seem to matter. Each day, she drifted further and further away from me. Finally, one day she wasn’t there. My father told me she’d been sick and had gone to heaven.”
“How did you know she’d committed suicide?”
Fitting herself closer to him, she said, “I overheard some of the staff talking. She’d slit her wrists, and apparently the blood was going to be difficult to get out of the floorboards.”
“God, I’m so sorry.” His arms kept her from wanting to dive into that bottle of pills.
“For the next few years, I was kept fairly close to home. My dad arranged any play dates, and they were always children of people he knew. Once I hit high school, he had me tutored at home. I didn’t really like it and may have acted out a bit. That’s when my father told me I had to be cautious, because my mother had this mental illness, and it must have been passed on to me. I started taking some medication to keep me from going crazy.”
“Going crazy? Because you were a typical teenager who wanted some freedom?” Theo’s muscles tightened around her.
“He never called it crazy. It was mycondition. He wanted to make sure I didn’t go the same way as my mother. Everyone said how wonderful he was because he hadn’t put her in an institution. He made sure to let me know that as long as I took my medication, he’d make sure I could stay in the house, too.”
“Medication? The pills you have in the house?”
Shaking her head, she said, “No, not those exact ones. My dad had some of his top researchers specially make those to help with my depression after my baby…Jordan was taken from me.”
“But you never had a doctor check you out and prescribe these?”
“I delivered Jordan in a hospital and stayed there for a few days, heavily sedated for the most part. I remember my father arguing with the doctor. Not sure what about. Then, I went home, and someone watched over me for a while.”
She tried to read Theo’s expression. Was he disgusted with her illness or that she’d needed so much medication? “Honestly, everything after that is a big blur. Losing both you and our baby pushed me over the edge. I didn’t care about anything. Eating, sleeping, talking to anyone. I took my pills, occasionally sat in a chair with the TV or radio on, but most of it’s a fuzzy mess.”
“Which is why you were confused about whether we were still married or not.”
She curled into him, hoping he wouldn’t shove her off his lap, dump her on the ground, and run away. The opposite happened. He tightened his embrace and kissed her forehead.
“God, pixie, I can’t believe what you went through. And I could have done something to stop it, to keep you from basically being held prisoner. I am so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
The catch in his voice made her glance up at him. Agony crossed his face and moisture filled his eyes.
