“I’m sorry. I was busy with the chicken and didn’t notice until it was too late. I’ll buy you a new pair. I’ll buy you ten new pairs. I’m sorry.”
He sighed. His shoe was mangled, and part of the leather had been torn off. That had been his most comfortable pair of running shoes. The tears in Chelsea’s eyes wouldn’t let him say anything negative. This fragile state was starting to be a problem.
“It’s fine. Let’s spend some time with Jordan before we put her to bed.”
They played a few games and read too many stories before getting the cherub tucked in her bed. Chelsea spent longer tonight hugging and kissing the child than she had last week.
When Jordan finally zonked out, they headed downstairs.
“You must be exhausted,” he said as she picked up some books that had been left downstairs and put them on the end table.
When she turned, Theo’s heart stuttered. Her face crumpled and her lips quivered.
“Please, don’t make me leave her.” A sob ripped from her throat. What was she talking about? “I know I made a mess of everything today, but I’ll try harder. I’ll leave the animals at home. I can be responsible, I promise. I just need to get used to all this. Please. I can’t live without her.”
Holy crap. Is that what she’d been thinking?
“Have you been worrying about this since I got home?” No wonder she was a mess all evening. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“I didn’t want Jordan to hear. Didn’t want to make you the bad guy if she couldn’t see me again.” Tears rolled down her cheeks, and he lifted a finger to wipe them away. It killed him to see her this way.
“You never made me the bad guy, never put me down in front of our daughter. You could have. Could have said horrible things about me to her. I appreciate that. More than you know.”
Leading her to the couch, he sat down and bundled her into his arms. Cupping her cheeks, he stroked his thumbs over the trail of tears.
“Please, let me still see her, even if it’s with someone else around. I can’t lose her again. I won’t make it this time.” Her eyes lowered, and she wrapped her arms around her middle.
“I would never keep you from our daughter.” His words were gentle but firm. “She loves you and you love her. Today wasn’t a test, Chelsea, to see if you could be super mom.”
“So, I can come over tomorrow? Even with all the dog stuff and dinner?”
Pulling her closer, he stroked her back and nestled his nose into her silky hair. God, she smelled amazing. “Jordan wants her mother here. I want you here with her, too.”
“I’ll leave Bandit at home. I promise.”
“So he can chew up your house and eat nails that have fallen on the floor while you’re not there? I don’t think so.”
“But your sneaker…” She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her.
“It’s only a sneaker, pixie. I can buy a new one. Jordan can’t get a new mom.”
At that, she did pull away. “I bet you could get her a new mom easily if you tried. I’ve seen how the women in this town look at you.”
He stared into her eyes. “But I don’t look at any of them that way. Jordan already has a mother. She’s the only one I’m looking at right now.”
Her eyes filled up again, and he kicked himself. Had he moved too fast? Scared her?Distraction needed. Grabbing the remote, he clicked on the TV.
“Let’s watch something that doesn’t have cartoon characters in it. What are you in the mood for?”
The smile she sent him made him feel like a hero. If only. The channels zipped by, and suddenly she breathed in an “oh.”
It was an old black and white classic they’d seen a few times the summer they were together. She loved it, and he’d come to appreciate it, also. Didn’t even want to admit how many times he’d watched it since she’d been gone, on the days he wanted to torture himself.
But not today. After shutting off all the lights in the house and transferring the kitten box and the dog into the living room, he eased beside her and focused on the screen. Her expression during the humorous parts was great, but it was the romantic scenes where he had a hard time controlling himself. Finally, he gave up and put his arm around her shoulder, gathering her against his chest. They snuggled into the corner of the couch and enjoyed the program. Like old times.
Except this wasn’t old times, and they wouldn’t be going upstairs to bed together in the most intimate way. Man, he wanted that. More than he could say. But this was closer than they’d been since her return, and she finally seemed relaxed against him.
When the movie ended, he continued to hold her as another old show came on. Her body grew heavier on his shoulder, so he extricated the throw pillow from under his arm and placed it on his lap, her head cushioned by it. Her silky hair spread around the fabric, and he slid his fingers under it to move it off her face. He didn’t want to stop, so he kept stroking her cheek and her neck, the heart-shaped birthmark he so wanted to kiss. Eventually, her eyes closed, and her breathing grew rhythmic.
