Reluctantly, she pulled away. Pressing her fingers to her mouth, she blew her daughter a kiss, then turned toward the door. Theo followed.
What was she supposed to do now? Was this the moment Theo politely booted her out of his home? The last thing she wanted to do was return to her cold, musty house. She had great memories of being there with her grandmother, however her grandmother wasn’t there now. It was more of the same loneliness she’d had most of her life.
Once they reached the bottom of the stairs in the living room, she tried to think of something to say to prolong her time here.
“So, you never joined the FBI. Was it because of Jordan?”
Theo took a deep breath. “Yeah. I wanted a safer, more stable job, one where I wasn’t traveling all over the place on different cases. Angie had applied for the position here, too, so I had family to help me with Jordan.”
What else was there to say? Her eyes drooped, and a yawn made its way to the surface. It was time to go, but she didn’t want to. Wasn’t sure she could come back.
“Can I see her again?” Why couldn’t her voice be stronger? Demanding. This was her daughter after all. She had a right to see her. Be with her. Didn’t she? These crippling doubts that circled her constantly were a plague on her very existence.
The expression on Theo’s face showed his horror. Was that it then? Would she need to get her father’s lawyers involved to see her child? God, she hated using money as power like he’d done.
“Did you think you’d get one day, then I’d shove you out the door?”
Her breath whooshed back in her lungs, and her heart started beating again. He wasn’t keeping their child from her.
Her eyes watered yet again, and she turned away. What must Theo think of the mess she’d become?
A soft touch on her shoulder turned her around, and soft emotion in Theo’s eyes eased her anxiety.
“Of course, you can see her again. Do you think I’d get any peace if today was all she got of the mother she’s been waiting for her whole life?”
Jordan. That was the reason he was allowing her access. Good, he should be thinking of their child. It was something she’d have to start putting as a priority, too.
“Let’s sit for a minute, okay?”
After taking a place on the couch, Theo ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “I need to know what your plans are.”
“My plans? What do you mean?”
“Are you planning to stick around, or are you going back to your fancy, rich New York world when you get tired of playing mom?”
Strength flowed into her and straightened her backbone. “You said you wouldn’t keep me away from her and so I won’t. Stay away, that is.”
“Good.” His expression was unreadable. What was he thinking?
“I’ve never been comfortable in the Westchester estate. I hadn’t thought much past coming here and fixing up Gran’s old house. Of course, I didn’t know my baby would be here.” Her stupid voice cracked.
Theo’s eyes lowered, and his mouth tightened.
“Now that I do know, there’s no way I’m leaving. I missed almost four years of her life. I won’t miss any more. I’m more determined than ever to get the house livable and stay on the island near her.”
“Is it unlivable now?” Did he honestly care or was this simple curiosity?
“It’s okay, a little run down and musty. It needs new paint and an exterminator. I’ve been trying to clean all the rodent poop out of the cabinets, but it gets dark shortly after I get back from the pond cleanup, and I only got electricity turned on a few days ago.”
“Maybe you should cut back on cleaning up the pond. Spend more time on the house.”
So he didn’t have to see her? Did he hate her so much?
“I can do both. And I’m not so high and mighty that I can’t rough it a little. It’ll be in better shape soon enough.”
“If you need help—” He shrugged.
Was he going to help her? Did he want to spend more time with her?
