Chapter 7
Callie watched from the doorway as Jack read a story to Jonathan. The two had played hard and fast today once they’d been filled with bacon and eggs. This morning’s near miss was still on her mind, making her shaky.Get a grip on yourself. You can’t take care of your son if you’re a basket case.After all, Jack wouldn’t be around for much longer. When Jonathan went down for his nap, he planned to leave.
“Now you remember I have to go back to work, right, pal?” Jack reminded the boy once more. “But I promise I’ll talk to you tomorrow on the computer. Mommy said we could do that before you go to bed.”
Jonathan held up the book to his father and said, “Wead a me?”
Jack gave a sad smile. “Sure, I can read to you. What story do you want me to read when I get back home? You know I don’t have that many at my place.”
“Night Moon.”
“I haveGoodnight Moon. That’s the one Ialwaysread to you when we talk on the computer. Maybe I’ll have to get a few more. For now though you need to close your eyes and get some rest. We had a busy day, didn’t we?”
Jonathan’s eyes fluttered. He wouldn’t be able to keep them open much longer. It was past his usual nap time and he had gone without one yesterday. Leaning down, Jack kissed their son on the forehead, lingering for a few seconds. He ran his fingers through Jonathan’s hair and down his cheek for even more minutes until the boy was sound asleep. Unmoving, Jack sat on the side of the bed staring at their son. Callie stepped out of the doorway and headed downstairs.
She figured she’d let Jack have a few minutes alone with Jonathan. The leaving was always the hardest. It must tear him up inside whenever he had to go, especially as he had no clue when he might be able to appear in their lives again. The despair in him was quite evident, though he tried to hide it.
Oh, sure they communicated using various forms of technology but it wasn’t the same as actually being in the room together. If she couldn’t see Jonathan except once a year, she’d have gone nuts by now. It would have ripped her heart into tiny pieces. What it did to Jack must be intolerable. He loved their son; there was no doubt in Callie’s mind. He showed it in everything he said and did. He never mentioned love to her though.
She shook her head as she walked into the kitchen and wiped down the already clean counters.Keep those thoughts out of your mind. What you and Jack had was fleeting.It had been powerful and strong, resulting in the appearance of their son, but it had hardly been permanent. And it certainly couldn’t be now.
Even if Victor was somehow taken out of the picture, could she be with Jack? Did he even want her? He worked for the FBI, or at least he had before all this mess. She wanted a simple life, a quiet life, one where she could always be with her child and not worry about having her loved ones taken away from her. If Jack worked for the FBI or any other law enforcement agency, he would always have the potential for getting hurt or killed. She couldn’t put herself through that, relive what had happened with her parents.
Opening the refrigerator door, she removed cold cuts and mustard. She would put together a sandwich for Jack to take with him. Five hours was a long ride and he’d need some sustenance. Lunch had been a few hours ago, but he wouldn’t return to the construction site until well after supper time. She put a few pickles in a plastic bag so he could add them to his sandwich if he wanted. Tears welled in her eyes at the memory of all the joking they would do, simply over the subject of pickles.
Once the sandwich was all bagged up, she took a bottle of water and set it next to the food on the counter. When she turned around, his denim jacket screamed from the back of the chair and she sighed. Victor hadn’t said anything about it, but she was getting good at making up excuses quickly when it came to the mobster anyway.
Picking up Jack’s coat, she held it to her face. The scent of sawdust and his spicy soap assaulted her nostrils. Another reminder he was hiding in a life that wasn’t his. Luckily for him, Scott had a business where he had work all over the country. The company had belonged to his father and he could have taken it over, but he had chosen to work for the government after he’d left the military. He’d wanted more excitement and travel. Once Victor had put a hit on him, he’d traveled from one end of the continent to the other trying to stay hidden. Scott’s business had come in handy, providing a living for Jack as well as a variety of places to hide. Not quite the type of travel Jack had desired.
Callie inhaled again, wondering what life would have been like if Jack had been in the construction business and she had met him then. If his parents had still been around to help her with their grandchild. But his mother has passed away from a long illness right after high school and his dad had suffered a fatal heart attack a few years before she’d met him. Having family around would be amazing. But that was a dream, and she had to live in the real world.
* * * *
Jack took one last look at the precious boy sleeping peacefully on the bed. His heart twisted knowing it could be a long time before he saw him again, at least in real life. Seeing him on a computer screen didn’t always do it for him. He wanted to hold his son in his arms and kiss his beautiful face. Running his fingers through the thick, dark strands he noted they were so like his own. He blinked a few times at the emotion clogging his eyes, then stood and moved away, his heart cracking and crumbling once more.
After taking a second to splash water on his face in the upstairs bathroom, he went downstairs to say good-bye to Callie. One more thing to chip away at his already damaged heart.How much longer can you handle the loneliness?But what choice did he have? He couldn’t abandon his son completely, leaving Callie to raise him alone. Although isn’t that what she was doing now anyway? It wasn’t like he had any say in his day-to-day care or helped with any of the parental chores.
The information Callie provided on what his son was up to was great, but he made no decisions regarding what Jonathan did. They hadn’t sat down together to discuss what school he would go to or who to invite to his party or what to get him for his birthday. The most he got was talking to him via computer once every week or so for too brief a time. Hardly satisfying. At least not for him.
There were a few guys who worked at the construction site whose kids lived in another part of the country so they only saw them a few times a year. But at least when they did, they didn’t need to hide and keep out of sight. They could take them to the park, movies or out for ice cream. The kids could acknowledge who their father was. Jonathan would never be able to do that, not as long as Victor was around.
He moved toward the kitchen where Callie stood holding his jacket. Was she that eager to get rid of him? Her eyes were closed as she held it to her face, a frown marring her lovely features. Memories of how her scent used to cling to his clothes, especially after she wore his shirt all night, floated through his mind. That’s what she was doing. Remembering.
Taking a few steps back, he made some noise as he entered the kitchen. He didn’t want her embarrassed that he’d seen her. She’d always been proud and that hadn’t changed. Reminiscing would be seen as a sign of weakness in her eyes.
“He’s sound asleep,” Jack said, his voice low and gruff. “I guess I should go. I’ve bothered you enough.”
Patting the jacket she’d dropped on the chair, she shook her head. “You haven’t bothered me. Jonathan absolutely loves having you here. We never do much on Sundays except hang around the house. I like to have some down time before he goes to playgroup the next day. I usually go into the office for a few hours on Mondays. That way he has a bit of time without his mom underfoot.”
Jack leaned against the kitchen table and took Callie’s hands in his. She stared at them like they might detonate. He wasn’t sure they wouldn’t. His feelings for Callie had always been a bit explosive. It’s how they had ended up with Jonathan. He could never regret it though. Two of the best things he’d ever had in his life were Callie and his son.
“I’m sure Jonathan loves every second he has with his mom,” Jack assured her as he squeezed her hands. “I know I do.” He didn’t clarify whether he was talking about his time with Callie or his time with Jonathan. He wasn’t sure she’d want to hear it with the way she kept her distance. Always sweet and polite but certainly not the passionate little Calico Cat he’d enjoyed during their brief time together.
Was she still in there? What would she do if he tried to find out? Pulling her in a tiny bit closer, he placed his hands on her shoulders. “I apologize for what happened this morning. I never expected Victor to come back here. I’m sorry you had to deal with him by yourself, and for the worry we caused by not being here.”
Her shoulders trembled slightly. From his touch or remembering Victor?
“I’ve had to deal with Victor for the last three years, Jack. I think I have it down pat by now. Having Jonathan away from me and not knowing where he was, that was a little different. But he had to be with you and I know you would do anything you could to keep him safe. You might not be around much but I know your love for our son is strong and deep.”
