Stifling a yawn, he replied, “I know how he feels. Can I get him ready for bed?”
“Torwy?” a muffled voice questioned from near Jack’s neck.
“You want me to read you a story? I can do that as long as it’s okay with Mommy.”
Callie nodded but kept her eyes averted from his. Was she uncomfortable with him here? It was rare for him to visit but she’d been generous with him when he did.
“Come on.” She moved toward the stairs. “We’ll get you all ready for bed and daddy can read you a story.”
Following behind the beautiful woman, he admired her long thin legs and the sway of her hips as she climbed up the stairs. It had been too damn long since he’d held Callie, or any woman for that matter and his libido took over. It wouldn’t matter if it was another woman though. He’d come across many in the two plus years he’d been away from Callie. None of them had ever come close to eliciting the same kind of response in him. Simply being in the same room with her got him all hot and bothered.
It was one of the reasons he tried to concentrate solely on Jonathan whenever he communicated with them. Thinking of Callie was far too dangerous. Getting involved with her had resulted in a knife wound to the gut and having a price put on his head from defending himself. Not her fault but something about her made him lose all control and forget to be cautious. In more ways than one, obviously. They’d created a child together.
As he carried Jonathan down the hallway, he glanced into the front bedroom, Callie’s room. Pastels and ruffles were all he could see and he smiled at the feminine decorations. Jonathan’s room, however, was exclusively boy. Light blue walls contained pictures of horses and cowboys. Similar images roamed across his bed spread. The crib his son had slept in was missing.
“You’ve got a big boy bed now, pal. Cool.” Inside, another piece chipped off his heart. His son had grown old enough to sleep in a regular bed and he’d missed that milestone, along with too many others. He swallowed the lump in his throat as Jonathan stirred on his shoulder.
“I bid boy. I two.” He held up three fingers. Jack reached up to fold one down then kissed the other two.
“Yes, you are a big boy. I still can’t believe how big.” The tightening of his throat prevented any other words from emerging. He attempted to douse the fire raging inside him at the loss of his life and all that went with it.
* * * *
A sting jabbed through Callie at the sound of Jack’s voice, rough and scratchy. He was trying to keep his emotions in check and not being all that successful. A man missing his son wasn’t a weakness in her eyes. He didn’t need to hide his feelings. She moved closer, though his proximity was hazardous to her equilibrium.
“He started crawling out of the crib a few weeks ago so I thought a bed might be a better choice. I have a gate on the door in case he wanders in the middle of the night.” Pointing to the child gate that sat by the door, she said, “I’m sorry I forgot to mention it to you last time we spoke. It’s been a little hectic around here the past few weeks.”
“No need to apologize. It’s hard to fill me in on every little thing that happens. Don’t worry about it.”
“I do worry, Jack,” she answered, noting how his arms held their child tightly yet tenderly. There was no doubt Jack Holland adored his son. The love shining from his eyes, every time he looked at him, was palpable.
Busying herself with getting pajamas out of a drawer, she glanced at them. Jonathan was drained and wouldn’t last much longer. He was almost asleep on his father’s shoulder. A few times, she’d fallen asleep there herself and knew how comforting a place it was.
“Sweetheart, do you think you might try using the bathroom before you go to sleep?”
Jonathan perked up a tiny bit, moving his head closer to Jack to whisper, “I pee pee a potty, Dah dee.” The pride in his tone brought tears to her eyes. Wanting to impress his father was something all sons did. Theirs was no different.
“Why don’t you show daddy then you need a Pull Up for bed.” Callie looked into Jack’s intense gray eyes. “He hasn’t quite mastered getting through the whole night yet. The potty training thing is still new.”
Nodding, Jack headed to the bathroom with Jonathan still clutched in his arms. It would be hard for him to leave and let his son go again. He always played the stoic soldier but she’d die a little inside if she had to leave her son and not see him for months or longer. Jack couldn’t be any different. Right now it might be worse for Jack. Jonathan didn’t understand how long it would be until he saw his father again. Jack did. As their son got bigger, he’d begin to understand more and know when his daddy left, he wasn’t coming back soon.
How would she get through Jack’s leaving then? It was hard enough to say good-bye when they talked on the computer. Keeping her distance emotionally while staring at his handsome face was something she’d perfected. She’d never admit to anyone how many tears she’d cry after each ‘visit’. It wasn’t only Jonathan who missed him. Her heart screamed with loss, equally, if not more so.
She wiped the tiny bit of moisture that had pooled in the corner of her eyes as Jack came back into the room.
“We brushed his teeth while we were in there.”
“Oh, thank you.” Callie handed him the boy’s pajamas. “I should have mentioned it.”
“Jonathan remembered. Apparently you have a good routine going for bedtime. He walked me through it. Even sang some little song about brushing your teeth. Not sure I got all the words right but this little guy knew what they were.”
Jack blew a slew of wet kisses along the child’s face, causing a fit of giggles. As father and son laughed and Jack wrangled Jonathan into his pajamas, Callie’s heart bled at the sight of them together. Moving near the door allowed them time without her interference though she wanted to watch. Loved seeing them together.
Jack sat in the rocking chair in the corner and deposited Jonathan on the floor. “Go get the story you want me to read.”
Jonathan knew what he wanted. Grabbing it from his bookshelf, he toddled back. He scampered into Jack’s lap then rested his back against the strong chest of the larger version of him.
Her breath caught at the resemblance between the two, growing stronger with time. Jack was a breathtakingly handsome man but this could cause problems. If Victor ever noticed, it’d be the end. Hopefully, in the two plus years, his memory of what Jack looked like had faded.
