“Jesus, you make the sexiest fucking whore,” I drawl, running the pad of my thumb over her wet lips before I push my spent dick back into my pants, turn, and walk away. By the time I get back to my office, Starling hasn’t moved. Her laptop is still half on her lap, half on the couch, her hair tangled and matted from where I’ve buried my fingers in it and used it as a handle to keep her head where I wanted it.
Her expression is dazed, but she doesn’t look mad, and from the way she’s pressing her thighs together, I’d say she’s just as turned on by what I just did to her as I am.
Both Starling and I know what free use is. She read about it in another of her smutty books, and we joked about how crazy it would be to just be able to grab someone and fuck them, or use them with no discussion or foreplay. But that’s exactly what I just did, and she doesn’t seem pissed about it.
Starling and I have always had a healthy, active sex life, but apart from the odd occasion when we’ve been so desperate for each other we haven’t cared about where we are, most of the time we’ve gotten used to fucking in our room so that we didn’t put on a show for our six other roommates. Now that we live in our own home, that’s not a concern, and I plan to take advantage of that.
If I can’t control my wife’s actions because she’s too damn smart to be scared of me anymore, then I can control her body, and use it how I see fit.
FIVE
STARLING
What the fuck was that?No seriously, what the hell was that, and why did I like it? The past twenty-four hours have been the biggest mindfuck. First, Sebastian drops the security guard bombshell, then we fuck in the sea and come home. I lose my shit with the bodyguard, then he wakes me up when he comes to bed and makes all kinds of threats that I shouldn’t have liked but that set my body on fire.
I slept with a butt plug inside of me, and it felt good. But more than that, last night felt like the most connected Sebastian and I have been in nearly a year. The way he touched me, the way he spoke to me, the way he made me feel reminded me of the few scary, intense months when I first came to Kingsacre and Sebastian was unhinged.
Back then I was genuinely scared, last night I was excited.
I’ve forgotten how it feels to be completely under Sebastian’s control. I forgot how good it feels to give myself over to him, not having to feel this constant need to keep up with all the crazy in our world.
Our relationship started in such an intense way, and our lives have been on a runaway mine train ever since. If I hadn’tchanged and evolved, I’d have drowned beneath Sebastian, Clay, Hunter, and Evan’s crazy.
But learning how to live in their world has slowly changed the balance in our relationship, and until last night I’d forgotten how much I missed him showing me how powerful he is.
It probably sounds messed up to admit that since we got married, I’ve missed feeling forced and coerced. Somewhere along the line, his obsessive desperation to own me morphed into being lovingly consumed and then desperately wishing things were like they were before, while knowing they couldn’t be, and just clinging to how it used to be.
I’m still thinking about what he told me after he pushed that goddamn plug into my mouth last night.
“Your cunt is soaked. Is that because you need to be fucked hard by your husband to get rid of all your anger, or because you want that big plug forced inside your ass? I think you’d like it if I pinned you down and used my cum to lube up your tight hole. You’d moan and scream and beg me not to, but when I forced that plug through your muscle and into your ass, you’d explode and come like the perfect little bird you’ve always been for me. Instead of a gilded cage, I’ll get you a gilded plug and lock you in with it filling you up.”
I almost exploded just from his words and the way he rammed himself inside of me over and over, using me like I was his to use. This morning, his touch had been unapologetic, as he’d toyed with my body, only allowing me pleasure when he decided to give it to me. Then the way he’d covered me in his cum like I was his whore, not his wife, had driven me insane and drained all of the anxiety and frustration from me.
Less than five minutes ago, he marched into the room, demanded I open my mouth, then fucked my face and filled my throat with his cum, and I don’t feel debased, I feel worshipped. Our sex life has always been great, but this is new. His touch hasalways been dominant but gentle. Today he grabbed my hair and used my mouth like it was just a hole to fuck, then he told me I made a sexy whore before he walked away like he’d gotten what he wanted and was done.
Now every nerve ending beneath my skin feels alive, and I want to cry and laugh and march myself into his office and demand he make me come. But I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if this is a game or if he’s actually so angry with me that all he wants is a whore to fuck now.
Insecurity dampens down some of my excitement, and I feel tears threaten to spill from my eyes. Annoyed with myself, I pick up my laptop and try to study, but my thoughts are all on him and what he has planned for the rest of the day.
Tom, the only one of my security team whose name I know, steps into the room thirty minutes later clutching a takeout bag from my favorite deli. “Your food order is here, ma’am,” he says, handing it to me before turning and leaving, closing the front door quietly behind him.
Opening the bag, I find my usual order of a sandwich filled with thick juicy slices of roast chicken, melted cheese, and salad leaves on soft slices of bread. The reminder that Sebastian not only remembered my favorite deli, but also my favorite sandwich and ordered it for me, makes me smile and exhale.
I love my husband, and he loves me, and things might be changing for us, but at our core, we’re still in love, and we can evolve together instead of drifting apart. After eating, I get back to my schoolwork, listening to all of the new lectures and padding out the outline for my first assignment.
Stretching my arms into the air, I put my laptop and earbuds onto the side table, then rise to my feet, pushing to my tiptoes for a full body stretch. Glancing out of the window, the sunlight reflecting off the blue pool water draws my attention, and I decide to go for a swim.
Heading upstairs, I change into a black two-piece, twisting my hair into a messy bun, before sliding my feet into slides and heading outside. Taking a towel from the pool house that Sebastian insisted we needed, I lay it out on a lounger, then dive into the water, swimming a handful of fast laps before I let my legs float to the surface and close my eyes against the bright sun in the sky overhead.
I hear but don’t see Sebastian making his way outside, feeling the water move as he slips into the pool. Opening my eyes, I turn my head and watch him disappear below the surface, swimming a full length beneath the water, before he performs an effortless swimmer’s turn and powers back toward the other end of the pool like he’s racing.
With the water disturbed, I lower my feet down and swim to the side wall, content to watch the show my husband is putting on for me. He swims ten more laps before he slows to a stop, pushing the water out of his hair and face with his hands, before he turns his attention toward me.
Lazily stroking across the pool, his eyes are hot and full of need as he closes the distance between us. When he reaches me, he runs his finger under the string that ties behind my neck, holding the triangles of my bikini top in place.
Grabbing the loose end of the bow, he tugs, making the knot unravel. Pulling the two strings free, he watches as my top sinks down, revealing my small breasts and peaked nipples. Smiling, he looks from my breasts to me, then unfastens the tie behind my back, pulling the top completely off and flinging it across the patio toward the pool house.
Pinching first one nipple, then the other between his finger and thumb, he squeezes and pulls until it hurts, making my already tight peaks stand to attention hard and red.
