Considering their next game was against Wanderers, Erin didn’t doubt that. A lot was on the line—Wanderers were in second place, breathing down Albion’s necks, and your first time coming up against your former team was always difficult—even if you hadn’t left in contentious circumstances. And though Wanderers’ coach had been fired, Lia’s ex was still playing.
While Erin wasn’t one for emotional entanglements, she could imagine how difficult it must be. “Expect to be grilled on their tactics in our next team meeting.”
The tension cracked as Lia broke into a smile. “Oh, I’ve already been asked about a thousand times. I think they’re expecting me to be our secret weapon.”
“If you can get on the pitch, there’s no doubt you will be. But it won’t be a secret.” Erin couldn’t begrudge Lia anymore. She wasn’t an idiot; she saw how good Lia was, how much she improved the team.
If Erin couldn’t do it, she was glad someone else could.
And it was going to push her to get back to her best quicker than ever.
* * *
Lia wasn’t fit enough to start the game.
Sitting on the bench, watching her new teammates shake hands with her former ones, Lia wasn’t sad about it. Hannah was playing, and the thought of having to stand opposite her made Lia’s stomach roil and her hands shake. It was a good thing she wasn’t on the pitch.
Lia wished the whole thing would have thrown Hannah off her game, but as always, she bossed the midfield today like she was born to do it, intercepting tackles with ease and sliding balls through to the attackers that no other player had the vision to do.
It was one of the things that had attracted Lia to her—she was someone who did their job effortlessly, and did it well. Competence was sexy, after all.
But watching Hannah for too long made her feel sick. She blinked and saw Hannah and Carol locked in an embrace, Hannah’s watery eyes when Lia had confronted her, the future they could have had. She dug her nails into her palms, willing herself not to cry in case the cameras caught her.
Desperately needing a moment to herself, Lia jumped from her seat and headed toward the tunnel.
“You okay?” Adrianna asked as Lia shuffled past.
“All good—just need the toilet.” The lie came easily, and Lia hurried inside and to the bathroom before anyone else had the chance to stop her. Hunching over the sinks, she curled her hands over the porcelain and took deep breaths. When the door opened behind her, Lia raised her head.
Erin let the door swing closed behind her.
Hastily wiping at her eyes, Lia tried to force a smile. “What are you doing here?” Erin was supposed to be in the stands with Maisie. Lia had waved at them earlier.
“Figured you might need some support.”
“I’m fine.”
Erin raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because you look far from fine.”
Lia could argue. She didn’t think Erin would push her too hard. But she sagged instead, leaning back against the sink and hanging her head. “I didn’t realise it would be this hard.”
Quiet footsteps approached, and Erin paused in front of her. “No one would begrudge you for saying you’re not ready to play.”
“I can’t let everyone down like that if they need me to come on.”
A finger pressed against the underside of Lia’s chin, forcing her head to lift. Erin’s gaze was steely. “You’d be letting everybody down if you stepped out onto that pitch if you weren’t one hundred percent ready. You can’t freeze when you come face to face with her.”
Lia let out a breath, drawing some comfort from Erin’s warmth. “I know. But I don’t know how to make myself ready. It’s been months—shouldn’t I be over it? You would be. Not that you’d have let yourself get into this position in the first place.”
“I was. Once.”
Lia’s mouth dropped open.
Judging from Erin’s uncomfortable look, she was as surprised those words had left her mouth. “I was eighteen, and I didn’t handle it well when she broke my heart. She left the club, and when our teams faced one another the next season, I was so wound up that I got sent off. So trust me when I say that if you don’t feel ready, tell Ayla that you’re not coming on today.”
Erin let her hand drop back to her side, a haunted look in her eyes.
“I…didn’t know that.” Lia was amazed she could speak at all. “Is that why you have your rule?”
