There was no sneaking anywhere. It’s not my fault you’re a heavy sleeper.
Only when properly worn out, but Lily would never tell Eva that. Her ego didn’t need feeding.You could’ve woken me up. Just admit you didn’t want to see me.
Of course I didn’t want to see you. Happy?
Lily ground her teeth. How did she manage to be just as infuriating over text? She scrolled through their earlier messages, struggling to believe she was speaking to the same person.
You can’t avoid me forever, Eva.
I can try.
Lily nearly threw her phone out of the bus window.
Paige noticed her distress. “You okay?”
Lily forced a smile. “Fine.”
All I want is a conversation.
And all I want is to be left alone.
You could stop replying,Lily suggested, but she knew Eva wouldn’t. She’d want the last word.You have to admit there’s something between us.
No, I don’t. Last night was a mistake.
Maybe, but it was also part of a pattern. Once is an accident, twice could be a lapse in judgment, but three times?Only two of their kisses had led to more, but Lily knew they wouldn’t be there if not for the one that had started everything at Christmas. The catalyst for everything that had come after.That has to mean something.
What does it mean to you?
That I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel anything for you.
Too honest? Maybe, but Lily was tired of games, tired of hiding. If she wanted Eva to open up, it was only fair for Lily to return the favor. And it was much easier to do that staring at a screen than it was looking Eva in the eye. A few months before, Lily wouldn’t have hesitated to tell Elsa anything. If Lily could convince herself to feel the same way now, knowing who was on the other end of the phone, it might be the solution to solving this whole mess.
At least Lily was leaving the ball in Eva’s court, now. If Eva was honest in return, maybe they could build something. If she wasn’t…maybe it was time for Lily to re-download the dating app and try and put her attention elsewhere.
* * *
Lily’s message bounced around the inside of Eva’s skull like a screensaver all the way through airport security and the painfully long walk through the terminal to their gate.
I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel anything for you.
It was still there, emblazoned on Eva’s eyelids, when she sat on the plane and closed her eyes, tilting her head back against the seat.
Eva hadn’t replied, because how could she? She didn’t know how to put her jumbled thoughts into words. Hadn’t expected such brazen honesty from Lily, but perhaps she should have. The woman was always surprising her.
That had to mean something.
Eva opened her eyes, gaze seeking out the woman never far from her mind. Lily was a few rows in front, only the top of her head visible.
It meant Eva couldn’t deny the draw she felt toward Lily. The fascination. Lily was right—there was something there—but Eva had no idea what to do about it.
It was easier, to admit the words in the safety of her own mind. Safer, than typing them on her phone and sending them into the void.
Vulnerability didn’t come easy—it never had. Better to shroud herself in privacy, in mystery, than let someone in—because then they couldn’t leave. No one could walk away, no one could hurt her if they couldn’t get close enough.
But Lily hadn’t left. Lily hadn’t given up on her, no matter how hard Eva had tried to push her away.
“You have a big heart,” Lily had said, in spite of Eva doing everything she possibly could to try and prove she didn’t.
