“Blake knows. You’re not as sneaky as you think you are. I don’t know about the other two. Dirty Texas knows, the girls too.”
“You fucking told them?”
“They have eyes, Chance, and yes, I did tell them because you kept fucking me over.” Chance falls silent over that. “And have they treated you any differently?”
“Um, yeah, they have,” he grumbles.
“It’s not because of your sexuality, it’s because of their loyalty to me.”
“You turned them against me?”
I roll my eyes. “I didn’t have to do anything, your actions did. If I really turned them against you, do you think you would have been invited today or to any other event that you’ve come to?” Chance’s jaw falls open at that. “Exactly, you wouldn’t have been invited.”
“You want my thanks or something?”
“Stop being a dick and listen to me.” Chance rolls his eyes. “What I’m telling you is they don’t care if you are screwing a man, a woman, or a unicorn. What they do care about is if you are screwing over a friend of theirs.”
“Really?” He seems surprised.
“Yes. Really. You seriously think all these people care what you’re into? Don’t forget they all have membership to The Paradise Club.” This makes Chance laugh. “They are all freaky in their own way. They won’t ever throw stones in glass houses. What they won’t tolerate is assholes. And you have been a huge asshole.”
Chance scrunches up his face. “I have been.”
“If you want people to accept you, you need to firstly accept yourself and then show them that you’re not some egotistical jerk, because that’s all you’ve shown them over the years.”
“Fuck. Guess I’m on my redemption tour.”
“Just don’t tour anywhere near London or fucking Scotland.” I raise a brow at him.
Chance glares at me. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I really like Arran.” I still for a moment, not because I’m jealous of his words, but because I can hear the sincerity behind them. “He’s going through the same thing as me, grappling with his sexuality and being in the closet for so long, and the height of expectations of others.” Shit. I had no idea. And I hate the fact that it’s Chance who is telling me this. “He’s the only person I can talk to, and the same goes for him.” I had no idea Arran was having such a hard time. Feels like we really do need a chat when I’m there. “I know you’re pissed, and I totally get it, but I’m the only person he has to talk to about it all.”
“And hooking up with him is helping him?”
“It’s not a hook up to me,” he confesses.Oh.“I like him, D, I really do. And I know it won’t work out for us because he is there and I’m here. And he is him and I am me. But when we are together … everything feels right.”
Oh shit.
“This is weird.”
“I know, but …” he bites his bottom lip, “talk to Arran and let him explain and … if he wants me, please let us be.”
My brows pull together. “I don’t know if I can,” I tell him honestly.
“I get it.”
“I don’t hate you, Chance.”
“Kind of feels like it.”
He’s right. “Guess, I’m still angry over how you treated me. Like I said, you left scars on my heart.”
“I know, and I am genuinely so sorry. I hurt you. I treated you like shit even after knowing what others had done to you. Not that I’m using the drugs and alcohol as an excuse, but I was fucked up.”
It shouldn’t be an excuse, but I understand that he wasn’t his normal self while under the influence. “So, you truly are going to therapy?”
He nods. “I don’t want to live like that anymore. The rock and roll lifestyle isn’t a good life for some people.”
“Well, I hope you stick with it.”
