“There isn’t, but I sure as hell hope there will be because that man is making me feel things for him and I shouldn’t because …” I shake my head. “None of this has anything to do with you.”
“Derrick … please … I know I’ve fucked up, but I mean it when I say I love you,” Chance says softly.
“But I don’t.” Not meaning for that to sound harsher than it did, but right in that moment, I realized whatever had happened between us would never happen again. Chance and I could be friends, but it might take some time.
“Because of him? You don’t know him,” Chance argues. “Years. You and I have been together for years.”
“Exactly. Years I waited for you.” Chance looks shocked by my response. “Years you kept me in the shadows. Years I had to share you with others. Years of being your dirty little secret.”
“You know why,” Chance argues back.
“I do. But I can’t do this. I want more. I want a relationship where I can be with them without thinking. I want a family. I want happiness.”
Chance’s face screws up. “And you think that man is it for you?”
“I don’t know. But what I do know is that man makes me happy.” And he does, we may not have known each other for long and may have gone about things in a roundabout way, but I know that if things progressed between Charlie and me, he wouldn’t be embarrassed over me, unlike Chance.
“And I never made you happy?”
“No. Not in the way I needed you to,” I answer honestly.
Chance’s eyes widen. “This is fucked up, D. You’re breaking up with me because I won’t come out of the closet.”
I shake my head. “We’re not dating, Chance. It’s just been sex. That’s all it’s ever been between us. Sex.”
“You think what we have has only ever been sex?”
“Yes!” I say, raising my voice.
He has the audacity to look hurt. I’m not lying. This shouldn’t be a shock to him.But it seems like it is.Did he seriously think there was more to what we had?This time, maybe he did. Now I kind of feel bad.
“I still don’t understand what you see in him.” Chance sneers.
Anger burns beneath my skin. “See, that’s the thing, you don’t need to.”
Chance’s eyes narrow on me. “You used me.” I’m surprised by his words. “You got off on the fact that behind the scenes, I was on my fucking knees for you. That all those girls screamed for me, wishing they could be in my bed, except all I wanted was you.”
He’s not going to turn this around on me. “And yet you seemed to always have a girl in your bed.”
“You can’t hack that they give me something you can’t,” he spits back.
“A vagina. Big deal.” I huff at him, folding my arms defensively in front of me. “This conversation is going nowhere. I wish you well, Chance. Hope we can still be friends.”
“Fuck you, Derrick.” He sneers and pushes me. I stumble a couple of steps back. “Fuck you.” He storms past me. A pang of guilt hits me as I shake my head at what has transpired between Chance and me. I didn’t think we would be here again. I slam my door shut and let out a heavy sigh, replaying that conversation in my mind, but I still can’t believe he said those things about Charlie.
There’s a knock at my door moments later and my stomach sinks. Is Chance coming back for round two? I get up from the chair and stomp over to the door, pulling with much more force than I meant, ready to give Chance a piece of my mind, and still when I see it’s Charlie. He looks at me for a moment before grabbing my face and kissing me.
Wow.
I was not expecting that from him, nor was I expecting him to push me up against the wall as his kisses become more frenzied. Look, I’m not going to say no to a dominant Charlie, but I’m also confused over where this sudden change of heart has come from.
“Charlie …” I moan his name as I push him back slightly. His teeth nip my bottom lip as he reluctantly pushes away. We are both breathing heavily as we take a moment. “Look, I will never say no to a good make-out session, but … um …”
Charlie’s forehead rests against mine. “I heard you defending me.”
Oh.
“I’m sorry you had to hear that. I’m assuming you heard it all?” I’m cringing over that conversation I had with Chance.
