I still. “How did you know?”
“Um, I have eyes. He’s not as slick as he thinks he is.” Hudson chuckles. “I see he is still hovering around you.” Hudson’s eyes lift over my shoulder to where Chance is seated with his bandmates, looking over at me. I give him a small smile as I look back at the buffet.
“Yeah, he is. Stupidly, I kind of let that door open again, but it still hasn’t changed.”
“You’re a good guy, Derrick. The rockstar isn’t the one for you,” Hudson warns me. “Charlie is a great guy, just in a bad place. Survivor’s guilt is real, and he is suffering in spades fromit. Jackson wars with that, as do I. I’ve been in situations where I’ve come out alive when others haven’t. It’s a tough beast to tame.”
Oh wow. I appreciate Hudson opening up to me.
“Am I living in fantasyland with him, too? I don’t want to push him if it will affect his healing journey,” I confess.
“Just being you, D, is enough,” Hudson says, giving me a wide smile.
“You make it sound so simple.” I grab a bread roll.
“Love is the greatest healer.” I burst out laughing. “Hey, I can be sentimental, too, sometimes.” Hudson smirks.
“Any lady loves out in the desert?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Plenty, but in my line of work it’s dangerous to develop attachments,” he explains.
“You could be at home photographing people where it’s safe.”
Hudson looks horrified at that suggestion. “Couldn’t imagine anything worse than dealing with celebrities and influencers.”
“They aren’t all that bad.” I chuckle.
There’s a knock on my villa door, and my heart starts to race. I’m hoping it’s Charlie and he’s decided to sneak out and hang out with me. He left earlier, deciding to walk Everly back home, but we did agree to catch up in the morning for a run.I’m hoping that is code for beach BJ. Because this time I want to be the one giving him one.My stomach sinks when I see it’s Chance, which then makes me feel bad because he’s done nothing wrong.Except deny you two are fucking.
“Have you been avoiding me?” Chance glares at me, seemingly upset.
“No. I’ve been busy with wedding stuff.” I don’t appreciate the tone he is giving me.
“So, you’re not hooking up with someone else then?” he questions me. How do I answer that? Other than a kiss and a BJ between Charlie and me, that’s as far as our hooking up has gone. I was hoping for more tonight, but I also know he isn’t ready. The man hasn’t been with anyone since the accident, and from what he’s told me, he had a reputation before the accident, and that’s knocked his confidence, which he should never feel unconfident, the man is hot. He’s a walking boner to any gay man or straight woman. He’s what a model agent would put forward if someone asked for a military photoshoot, he’s just that pretty. “Derrick?” Chance says my name, pulling me back to the conversation I was currently having.
“Um, no, I’m not.”
Chance doesn’t look like he believes me, but I also don’t owe him anything. I’ve noticed him flirting with women since being here, especially the staff. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on if he’s jealous. “So, you’re not seeing that cripple?” He sneers.
I’m so taken aback by his words that it takes me a moment to process what he just said, and I launch myself at him, grabbing the edge of his tee and pushing him up against the wall of my villa.
“Who the hell do you think you are? Don’t you ever disrespect that man. A man who nearly lost his life defending your nation, so you can sing your fucking songs.” I’ve seen red. How dare he talk about Charlie like that. I feel sick to my stomach, and I am so fucking thankful Charlie can’t hear these disgusting words coming from Chance’s mouth.
“So, you are fucking him?” Chance spits at me.
“I’m not. But so what if I am? It’s none of your business. We aren’t together. I let you suck my dick every so often, but that’s all it is. It’s all you will ever let it be. I am just a warm body foryou to sink into. You don’t want me. You’ve never wanted me. And I am not sitting around and waiting for you to sort through whatever shit you are going through. I’m a fucking catch. I want someone to love me for me. Who isn’t ashamed of loving me. Who will hold my hand in public. Who will kiss me in the sunshine, not only in the darkness. I deserve someone to love me fully.”
Chance’s eyes glisten with emotion. “You haven’t complained anytime I’ve dropped to my knees and sucked your dick.”
“You’re good at it, why would I say no?”
Chance pushes me away aggressively. “Fuck you.” He hisses at me. “I love you.”
I still. What did he say? He loves me.
“No, fuck you,” I say, stepping toward him. “You can’t say those words to me now because I’ve moved on.”
“I thought you said nothing was going on?” Chance bites back.
