“To me, it doesn’t. You blocked me. Ghosted me. I haven’t heard from you in months, and now you think you get a say in what I do with my life. Let me be clear, you don’t. You gave that up the moment you blocked me. So, fuck you very much. I’m not interested in whatever you are selling.” With that, I turn on my heel and walk away from him.
Fucking men.
Fucking brooding, hot, muscular, hot, big, oh so fucking big, men.
Storming back into the party, I try to quell the storm that seems to be rumbling in my chest.
“Hi, all, can I get you to find your assigned seats and take them, please? Dinner will be served momentarily,” Camryn says over the microphone.
Saved by the dinner bell. I go and find my seat, thankfully it’s beside Sienna and Vanessa.
“Where are the babies?” I ask Sienna.
“They are in the kids’ room. Camryn arranged a room for the kids to eat and be able to run around and have fun,” she explains. How cute. Sienna then reaches out and places her handover mine. “Now isn’t the right time, but I know something is upsetting you.”
I swallow hard. My girl knows me so well. “There’s a lot on my mind.”
“Care to enlighten me?”
Letting out a heavy sigh, I whisper to her while we wait for our meals to be served. I explain how I’ve started sleeping with Chance again after hooking up in Paradise, and I also confess to her about Charlie. How he kissed me the first night we met, and then we were messaging every day until Christmas, when I called him, not even FaceTime him to thank him personally for the unbelievably thoughtful Christmas present, then he promptly blocked me, and I never spoke to him again until tonight. I told her about running into him in the gardens and how he wanted to know if I was dating Chance because he saw us together earlier and didn’t look happy.
Sienna is silent for a couple of beats before we are interrupted by the sounds of drums. As we turn to see where the noise is coming from, we see a group of Hawaiian men dressed in traditional attire bringing in a whole pig on a spit. It’s a little confronting and I’m kind of glad the kids are not here to see this. Then they are met by women performing the hula and singing as the men place the pig on top of a table. They then join the women in a dance before leaving. A chef comes out and starts slicing up the pig while servers come out and lay large platters down the center of the tables. There’s Hawaiian Poi, purple sweet potatoes, poke, lomi salmon, chicken long-rice, and platters of as many salads as you could desire, all landing on the table. It all smells delicious.
“You know how I feel about Chance for you,” Sienna says, sparking up the conversation again.
“That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
She looks hurt by that admission. “Derrick …”
“He’s no good for me, I know … but I do like sleeping with him.”
“And that is all it is?” She arches a brow at me.
“It’s all it can be.” After speaking with Christian earlier today, I realize Chance is fun, not longevity, and those confusing feelings I had previously swirling inside of me seem to have vanished.
“And what about Charlie?”
“What about him?” I ask, sipping my cocktail.
“You seemed excited by him.”
“Then he blocked me.”
Sienna frowns. “That was a dick move, but what I do know about Jackson’s story is he was the least damaged from the explosion. He lost a lot of friends that day, he doesn’t talk about it, but Evan’s told me things. I know Charlie was hurt badly, it was touch and go, they didn’t know if he was going to survive.”
My heart aches hearing this from Sienna. I look up, and at the next table is Charlie sitting with Jackson and his family. His eyes are on me, those intense eyes. Maybe what Sienna is saying is true, that Charlie is damaged. I know Jackson told me on Christmas Day, he was dealing with PTSD, I guess I didn’t give it much thought or understand it. I eventually look away due to his intensity, but I can still feel his eyes on me.
“What I’m saying is maybe something triggered him, and he shut down. Not saying it’s right how he treated you because it’s not. Has he tried to explain what happened to you?”
My mind travels back to our conversation in the garden, where it looked like he was trying to work up the courage to say something to me, but because I was hurt and embarrassed, I lashed out and never gave him a chance to say anything.
“I wouldn’t let him because I was hurt.”
Sienna gives me an understanding look. “You were surprised to see him again. Maybe if he decides to try again, hear him out. Unless you’re truly not interested, then don’t string him along.”
“I liked him,” I confess quietly to her.
She wraps her arm around my shoulders, pulling me to her. “I know you did. Don’t give up on him. Look how badly Evan messed up. Christian. Finn. Oscar seems to be the only one who hasn’t so …” She smirks. “We all wouldn’t be happily married if we never forgave. I’m not saying make it easy for him, but don’t rule him out if you haven’t heard everything he has to say.”
