I should have just shut up and gone to bed.
So I could only stare in confusion when he stepped closer and put his hands on my arms. As soon as he made contact, my whole body went into overdrive. The simple touch lit up my body, making me want to rub myself all over him.
God, I really did need therapy. The guy despised me. Hated everything I stood for. Thought I was a spoiled brat who walked all over other people. Yet I couldn’t stop feeling attracted to him. Well, attraction was a pretty mild word for the feelings wreaking havoc inside me at the moment.
I put my hands on his pecs and relished the feel of his hard body. This time my shiver wasn’t from the cold. When he didn’t step back but instead took a deep breath in, I went up on my tippy-toes and pressed my mouth to his.
And then nothing.
Did I really just kiss him? What is wrong with me? Had I learned nothing from the first time I kissed him?
He stood stock-still, not responding to the kiss but also not pushing me away. I think something must have short-circuited in his brain, because when I pulled back to look at him and gauge his reaction, he looked like he’d had a stroke.
He blinked at me as if he were trying to clear his vision, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something but couldn’t get the words out. And he was holding onto my arms in a tight grip.
“Did you just kiss me?” he eventually got out, his voice sounding wheezy.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, not moving my arms from his body. “The alcohol made me do it. And I just wanted to know what it was like to kiss you. And for the record, despite the one-sided action, it’s probably one of the most memorable kisses of my short life. But I’m truly sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
I finally had the good sense to take my hands off his delectable pecs. I already mourned the loss of never getting to touch something so perfect again. But he still hadn’t released me, and we were standing close enough that all I had to do was lean forward and I’d be flush against him.
There was more blinking but still no movement. He licked his lips, and my eyes were drawn to them like a moth to a flame. And I would probably find a quick end just like the moth if I didn’t step away before he exploded, because he looked like he was holding on by a thread.
I guess he really doesn’t like it when I kiss him.
I tried a tentative smile to defuse the situation. It must have worked to calm him down, because instead of throwing me outside, he pulled me against his hard body and claimed my mouth in a kiss that I would never, not for one second of my life, forget.
His kiss devoured me, dominated me, and made my body come alight with a force that would have knocked me on my ass had he not been holding me.
His lips were warm and soft, and it was a kiss for my hungry soul to melt into. He felt like my homecoming. And even in my drunken state, I admitted that was just straight crazy talk. But there was no stopping my body’s reaction to all that was Gunner.
My hands finally got the memo that this was our chance and started exploring, taking this opportunity like it would be their last task on earth. I mapped the planes of his body through his sweater. When it wasn’t enough anymore, I slid my hands inside and brushed my fingertips over his abs, relishing every dip and hard definition.
And the whole time, he continued to kiss me like he was making a vow. When he ripped his lips away from mine, we were both flushed and breathing hard.
My hands dropped from his body when he stepped back, fists balled by his side. Even my arms mourned the loss of his touch. Neither one of us said anything, but there was a lot of heavy staring going on.
This would have gone into the history books as “the kiss to measure all other kisses against.” But then he opened his stupid mouth, so instead it would be found under “crash and burn while pouring whiskey over the mess and setting it alight.”
After staring at me for a beat, he swallowed and turned to the door. “I need to check the perimeter. You should go to bed. It’s late.”
I didn’t respond. Instead, I stared at the closed door, wondering what in the world was wrong with me. As if his first rejection five years ago wasn’t bad enough, I’d gone and done the same thing again.
After reprimanding myself for being so impulsive and incredibly stupid, I brushed my teeth and got into bed, pulling the blankets over my head. I replayed the kiss over and over, my mind deciding it enjoyed the torture.
Chapter12
Gunner
Turnedout it wasn’t just the talking that got to me. Because somehow we ended up sharing a passionate, soul-bending, mind-altering kiss. It was one of those things you’d never forget, that kept replaying in your mind over and over again.
And then I’d screwed it all up. But she had been drinking. I didn’t want her to regret her actions. Instead, I wanted her to crave my touch as much as I craved hers.
The selfish part of me wanted to take what she’d been offering. But what if she regretted kissing me? We’d already had one disastrous first kiss. I’d reacted poorly then as well, too overwhelmed by the unfamiliar feelings she’d caused.
After possibly making the biggest mistake of my life, I was now stomping around the woods like an angry bear, checking traps and sensors, replaying what happened in a loop.
I’d been too stunned at first to reciprocate her kiss, so I’d just stood there like a log. But when my brain finally caught up to what was happening, I’d been unable to stop myself from pulling her close and crushing my lips to hers.
