I nodded.
“Sounds like a smart decision. What does law school cost, anyway?”
“About seventy-five grand.”
He whistled. “A year?”
I nodded, looking down and twisting my fingers in my apron.
“Oh, hell, Vic. I don’t blame you. That’s a shitload of money to spend on school if you’re not loving every minute of it.” He clapped me on the back. “It’s not the end of the world. You’ll be okay.”
“I know. Except I have student loans to pay. And groceries, and my cell phone bill, and I haven’t given Penny rent money in two months. I can’t cover it all tending bar part-time. I need a real, regular job.”
“So you’re going undercover to break up the affairs of the rich and famous?”
“Something like that.”
He grinned. “Well, I dunno if that’s real or regular, but I guess we’ll find out.”
“Speaking of which…” I showed him my schedule for next week, which was going to allow me one single shift at the bar six days from now. “Do you think you can hire someone to fill in the other days? I’m sorry. I really am.”
“No biggie. I mean, no one can replace you, but I’ll see who I can find.” He glanced up as the door opened. “Hey, there’s Remy.” He ran one hand over his shirt and got all swoony and adolescent, the way he always did around my best friend.
Remy Watson had jet black hair that fell to her waist, searing blue eyes, generous boobs and hips, and a brain that didn’t quit. She was funny, sarcastic, loved football, rocked a vintage leather jacket, and could drink most guys under the table. She and I won the luck of the draw our freshman year of college and had been best friends ever since. Honestly, she was the other reason I’d come to Washington. She’d been working here for eighteen months and was already climbing the ladder to partner at an international tax firm.
“Hey, Vic. How’d the interview go?” She slid onto a bar stool. “Did I nail the reference?”
“You did. And then some.” I poured her a glass of Pinot Noir. “Thanks, by the way. I think.”
“You think?”
For the second time that afternoon, I recounted my meeting with Grace and then my admission that I’d dropped out of law school. Remy listened with interest, the way she always did, paying full attention and not saying much.
When I finished, she took a sip of wine and flipped open the menu. “Caesar salad with shrimp tonight, Charlie, please. Dressing on the side, extra anchovies and croutons.”
He nodded and punched it into the computer.
“So what’s this gig pay?” Remy finally asked. “How much do you get if you break up an affair?”
I hesitated. Even I couldn’t believe the bottom line. “Twenty grand each time.”
Charlie’s mouth literally dropped open. “Oh, hell. You have to take this job, Vic.”
“Damn, yes,” Remy echoed him. “And here I thought making partner would put me on the ‘Hot Under 30’ list in D.C. Maybe I should switch careers. Does she need any other employees?”
I smiled even as my insides jumped with nerves. “I’m not sure, but if I hear anything I’ll let you know.”
The next Mondaymy life became a whirlwind of study in the fine art of mistress dispelling. My days started at Grace’s penthouse at eight o’clock sharp, where I watched video after video explaining everything from the history of the business to the various strategies I could employ.
“Become her confidante and convince her she can do better.”
“Introduce her to another man, a single man.”
“Take pictures of her with another man – even a friend – and send them to the cheating spouse.”
And on and on it went. After a catered lunch I was given briefs to read, actual accounts of extramarital affairs successfully ended by Grace’s employees. Despite the overarching theme of infidelity, which got a little depressing at times, I was fascinated by the stories. In China, Grace explained, mistress dispelling went hand in hand with marriage counseling, but she had yet to branch into that area. Usually the “counseling” consisted of advice to a wife to keep her husband from straying, like changing her appearance or being more experimental in the bedroom. That all seemed archaic to Grace, and I heartily agreed.
I had tutoring sessions in every possible dating app and social media site, the latest trends in fashion and travel, and the hottest reality shows watched by those under thirty. I was quizzed on designer labels, types of jewelry, how to identify real fur from faux, and the best way to carry a handbag. I developed techniques for starting a conversation based on nothing but a coffee order. And I memorized every neighborhood in the Capitol region, along with the best bar, gym, and restaurant in each one.
