When we’d just been rivals it was fine. It hadn’t mattered.
But a nagging part of my brain was telling me that Alex, my boyfriend, my lover, this new Alex, would have been different.
My Uber driverpulled up outside of my flat near midnight. My flight home had been delayed, twice, and I was exhausted with jet lag. I grabbed my backpack before thanking him and pushing the door open. I stopped, halfway out of the car, when I spotted a shadow hunched over on my front stairs. Boxes were piled around him, an arm thrown over one of them. His head was tilted back against the wall, mouth slightly open while he slept.
“Miss?” My driver leaned over the front seat, peering out the window at Alex on my steps. “Do you need me to call the cops?”
“No, it’s fine, thanks,” I said, shaking myself back into motion. I hefted my bag over my shoulder and shut the car door.
Alex startled at the noise and blinked, my front light casting harsh shadows across his face as he woke up, scrubbing his cheeks and looking around.
“Nikki,” he rasped out. “Hi.”
I carefully climbed my steps around the mound of boxes.Sony, one box read.Lowepro, another. All original boxes for camera gear.
“What are you doing here, Alex?”
“I wanted to give you this stuff.” He gestured around.
I nudged one of the boxes nearby with a lens on the side and felt the heavy weight inside. “You didn’t want to just return it?”
He shook his head.
“Alright,” I said, unlocking my door. “Help me get the boxes in.”
We propped my door open and carried the boxes through to my kitchen table, passing each other in the hallway. Alex looked rough, but I supposed sleeping on a door stoop would do that. He was wearing trousers and a dress shirt, which had rumpled from a day in the office and waiting for me. His hair stuck up everywhere, his eyes were tired, his stubble outrageous, and he looked like shit. Part of me rejoiced; he deserved it.
Part of me wondered if I looked any better.
Eventually we had a pile of camera gear, boxes three or four deep on my table. It was way more gear than I needed. I’d have to figure out what to do with it all.
“This is the last one,” I said as I came in from the door. Alex changed course, and instead of leaving my place, he stood to the side as I stacked the box.
When I turned around, Alex was gripping the back of one of my chairs, watching me. I expected him to make an excuse and leave, getting back to his workaholic lifestyle so I could go back to avoiding him. Maybe he’d even start avoiding me.
That thought didn’t feel as good as I’d hoped.
“Nikki, I am so sorry.”
My heart leapt a little, nerves kicking up as the words settled over me. It felt good, a little vindication, but I was still wary. “What are you apologizing for?”
Alex ran a hand through his hair. “Can we talk? I had hoped… I was waiting for you to get home so we could talk. I didn’t want to just post these things to you.”
Despite it being late, and jet lag weighing me down, I wanted him to stay.
I stepped over to the couch and settled in one corner, gesturing to the other. “How did you know when I was getting home?”
“My mum asked your mum.”
My lips twitched. “Of course.”
“They are eternally optimistic about us, even after I told my mum everything.”
I folded my legs underneath me and waited. Alex rubbed his hands together and drew out a breath. “Did you know my parents nearly divorced?”
I blinked at him. That wasn’t what I was expecting him to say. “Ummm….when?”
“Our last year of school.” He shifted his weight on the couch and scratched at his nail. “Pretty close to that party when we kissed, actually.”
