“Maybe you shouldn’t attempt any move that puts you upside down,” Elle suggested.
Tia threw up her hands and came closer. “That cuts out about 90 percent of all moves. There’ll only be three positions left.”
I blew hair out of my face. “I’m sorry, but I was never good at dancing. Or gymnastics. Or really moving in general.”
Tia guided my hands up over my head and curled them around the pole. “Hold on like that. Now lift your legs. Maybe you can do a plank.”
I blinked, trying hard not to laugh. Never in my life had I been able to do a plank. Horizontal or vertical. Not that I’d tried the pole position before.
“Come on, lift those legs,” Tia said, tapping my thighs. One thing I learned about three seconds after walking up on stage with the girls was that they had no boundaries.
My butt had been in their face, they’d adjusted my boobs, lifted me with one hand on each butt cheek, and Elle moved my body every which way, not caring if she was holding on to a boob or an arm.
They were lucky I’d had two kids and didn’t care who might catch a glimpse of my lady cave anymore. Because I was sure I’d flashed them a time or ten since I was only wearing tiny shorts.
I tightened my grip on the pole and lifted my legs. They came a few inches off the floor before they stopped.
“That’s it?” Star asked, disbelief all over her face. “Did you even lift them?”
I put my feet back on the ground and released the pole. “I had abdominal separation after Lena, and things haven’t gone back the way they were supposed to. My abs are pretty sad these days.”
I also hadn’t had time to work on building up my abdominal muscles again. Not that it had been a priority. And the longer I left it, the less important it seemed.
“But you’re so lean,” Tia said, walking around me, inspecting my stomach. I was only wearing a sports bra and shorts that could double as underwear. “And no stretch marks. Are you sure things didn’t go back the way they were?”
I tensed my pitiful stomach muscles and took her hand, putting her fingers in the slight gap.
“What the fresh hell is that?” she exclaimed, pushing her hand in farther.
“That’s something I could fix since it’s not bad enough to need surgery. But I hate exercise, I’m as coordinated as a drunk donkey, and have no need to get my body back in shape.”
Elle put her fingers on my stomach once Tia dropped her hand. “Let me feel.”
“Go for it. It’s not like I’m self-conscious about the hole in my stomach,” I said, sarcasm lacing my voice when she started probing my belly.
“I’ll give you a few simple exercises. You’ll be fine in a few months. It’s a small separation, but you really need to sort it out.”
I stared at her, brows raised. She finally stepped back and shrugged. “I’m a physiotherapist. I see this after pregnancy all the time. And it’s easy to fix, but you have to put the work in.”
“You’re a physiotherapist?”
Her nose scrunched in annoyance. “We live in a small town. And I don’t make much money but have expensive taste. I got a second job to keep my shoe closet stocked and my mortgage paid off. Stripping is perfect because I can work at night and get a good workout in at the same time.”
I put my hands up. “I’m not judging. I was just surprised that you wouldn’t move to Denver where you could find a better job.”
“My mom had a heart attack last year. If I’m in Denver, I’m too far away to help out.”
“I’m sorry, Elle,” I said.
She winked at me. “Eh, don’t worry, it is what it is. And I don’t hate stripping. It’s just another job to me. Are the customers a bit too handsy at times? Sure, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Unlike you, I don’t mind prancing around a stage.”
“I guess I need to work on my poker face,” I said.
“Nobody is going to look at your face when you’re up here. No matter how much you frown or draw your eyebrows together, the customers will love you all the same. You have a bangin’ body and gorgeous silky hair. Now if you just managed at least three moves, you’ll be fine.”
I groaned. I didn’t have enough time to get ready.
“It would help if you’d done at least some exercise in the last century,” Tia put in, slapping my butt. “No idea how you can look like you do but have no muscles anywhere other than in your arms.”
