We both knew we had to talk. If nothing else, we needed to sort out the bodyguard issue.
“Talk,” I said, putting space between us.
“I never thought we’d lose touch.”
“We didn’t lose touch. You left, ignored all my calls and emails, and I moved on. The end.” He flinched at my words, his face a mask of hurt.
“You know it’s more complicated than that. We were best friends.”
“I thought so too. But best friends don’t abandon each other. They stick together, no matter what.”
“Dad funded Greenhouse.”
And with that, I knew that he had made the only choice he could. Follow his dreams and make a difference. Greenhouse was the project he’d thought about for years. It was a recycling project that made clothes, blankets and bags out of other people’s discarded fabrics. It was brilliant really. He’d told me a lot about Greenhouse. It not only recycled trash, it also sent half of the clothes it made to third world countries. They made a difference. Just like he had always envisioned.
“That’s great, Rhett. I’m so happy for you.” I knew founding Greenhouse was his dream, his chance at changing the world. But I was a selfish cow and couldn’t get over his betrayal.
His stance relaxed, the tense line of his shoulders disappeared. “Thanks. It’s grown bigger than even I could have imagined. I had to give up leadership of the company when dad got ill and made me take over as CEO of Cormack Industries, but the board I put in place is perfect. They share my vision and have continued to grow the company. I’m still a shareholder, which means I’m not totally out of the picture.”
I broke eye contact, unable to bear the tension any longer. There was no way I couldn’t understand why he did what he did. But that didn’t change the fact that he hurt me more than anyone ever had. Not even Anna had managed to leave as much destruction behind as he did. But could I really blame him? He didn’t know how desperately I was in love with him. He’d been eighteen, whilst I was just sixteen. Nothing could have happened. I knew that. But that didn’t change my feelings. Hadn’t changed them in eight years.
“Emmi, please, I need you to understand.” The desperation in his voice made me look up again, flinching at the open way he laid it all out. His face was expressive, hiding nothing. “I had to leave. Your mom had an affair with my father. I was a mess when Mom had to go to rehab. Dad paid a lot of money to Anna, but she wouldn’t stop coming around the house. Screaming on the front lawn, making a scene. I had to stay away from you, no matter what. You were getting older and my feelings for you were changing. And I knew it was wrong. I did the best thing for both of us.”
“I do understand. I really do. But you hurt me so much. You could have explained.” Why didn’t he explain? Instead I was left confused, hurt and once again abandoned by those I had loved the most.
He took my hands, holding them up to his face, putting my palms on each of his cheeks. His eyes drank in my face, lingering over my lips, ghosting over my cheekbones and stopping at my eyes. I was caught, unable to look away. “I need a second chance. Please. Tell me you’ll let me prove to you how much I want there to be an ‘us’ again. The way we were. Us against the world.”
My heart sank. There was no way I could go back to the way things were. It became obvious to me that my feelings were still more than what his were for me. He wanted friendship. I wanted him. I still loved him with a desperation that scared me. So instead of giving him what he so desperately desired, I said, “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He didn’t move, just continued to watch me. Eventually he released my hands, and I dropped them at my sides. “Okay.” He nodded, running his hands through his hair, making it stick up in all directions. “I understand. But I won’t give up. I told you before I won’t let you go again.”
He ignored my attempt at walking away. Instead he did the worst thing he could have. He walked closer and pulled me into his chest, hugging me. Turned out he was still my weakness because my arms automatically sneaked around him like they’d done a hundred times before. But that was when we still knew each other. Now we were strangers. Different people that had nothing in common anymore.
“What are you doing?” I said, my voice muffled by his chest. God I loved the smell of him. The feel of him. The way he held me.
“I needed to touch you like I needed my next breath. I know you’re still angry with me, but please just let me hold you. I need to feel like there is still a chance you’ll forgive me. Let me explain. It’s not exactly what you think.”
I stayed silent, taking in his words, unsure of how to respond. My anger was mostly gone, hurt being the only thing left. But that was so much worse. Because it made me physically ache. My throat closed up and all I could do was hold on. Rhett held me so tight, my ribs started aching. I didn’t mind. I loved being this close, even if I knew it wouldn’t last long.
He eventually untangled our bodies, as reluctant as I was to let go.
I pointed toward the fort, the weight on my chest threatening to crush me. “I should go check on Josie. Why don’t you order dinner? She’ll eat anything with chicken, hates tomato and won’t eat rice. I’ll have whatever.”
And with that, he was all business again, his face back to an unreadable mask as he got out his phone.
“And by the way, I don’t think you need to have someone on me all the time. Give Gunner a break.”
He inclined his head, phone halfway suspended to his ear. “Not happening.”
