"I don't think it's you they came for, G."
I swallow. "They came for him, and found me."
She nods. "They told me you were a happy accident."
I scrub my hands over my face.
"What happened?" she asks.
I sit back in the chair, sighing. "I don't know if I'm ready yet."
"They said they found you in bed with him, naked. Did he...?" Her question trails off.
"I can't. Not yet. I need to be home, and I need to process."
"Well, if you think I'm leaving you at home alone, you've lost your fucking mind."
"I'll be fine, Allison. After all, my boogeyman is locked up."
She looks at me oddly. "Sounds like you're sad about it."
I don't know that I'm not.
"Give me a few days?" I eye her as I get out.
Bear leaps over the middle into the passenger seat, bounding out of the door as my gaze lingers on Allison.
"You got it, G. If you need me... Do you have your phone?"
I shake my head. "My iPad's inside, I'll use it until I get a new one."
She nods. "Just keep me posted. Let me know you're safe."
"Will do. And, Ali?"
She locks eyes with me again. "I was driving that car. You might have told me to ‘drive,’ but I'm the one who hit the gas. We're both complicit."
Sadness bleeds into her eyes, but she doesn't argue.
"Love you, G."
"Love you, too."
I snap the door shut and watch her drive away.
After finding my hide-a-key and letting myself in, I breathe in my home before getting into the hottest shower ever and letting all the emotions from today flood out of me.
I struggle to reconcile my feelings with how I think Ishouldfeel.
I should be relieved to be home.
But I'm not.
I'm worried about Koen.
I'm worried about myself.
And I don't see a way forward through the muck.
