She edged onto a tall stool, but there was no mistaking the distinct lack of energy between them, especially when he took hold of her hand, and she gently pulled it away.
‘I think I might have made a mistake, Tad.’
‘A mistake? With what?’
She drew in a deep breath, finally looking him in the eye. ‘With us.’
* * *
Amy didn’t sleep well. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see Tad, the expression on her face when she told him she wasn’t looking for complication, didn’t want the pressure. She’d used his own words from earlier in the day, had weaponised them.
When she suggested it would be best if they left it as a moment of recklessness, he’d looked as though she’d slapped him across the face – which, she supposed, was exactly what she’d done with her words.
But Amy knew Billie was more than capable of carrying out her threat – would thoroughly enjoy eviscerating Tad and the whole set-up at Casa del Cibo if it suited her. Malcolm’s resignation couldn’t have been worse-timed, as far as it related to Amy. This week had crystallised her realisation that the life she was living wasn’t one she wanted any longer, but now Malcolm had jumped ship, Billie would do anything in her power to hang on to Amy.
If she didn’t do as Billie wanted, it would place Tad – and the cookery school – in the line of fire. And to knowingly lay his career and the future of Casa del Cibo on the line because Amy fancied him? She couldn’t do that to him.
It wasn’t as though they had anything serious going on. Was it?
The way she stared into the dark recesses of her bedroom ceiling all night told a different story. It might only have been a few days, logic might tell her it was crazy, but logic could get knotted.
Amy sighed. It didn’t matter how she really felt about him. It would be better if he never knew, and she simply made a clean break from him. At least that way he would never fall foul of Billie’s vicious side, her dangerous ability to destroy careers was something she never wanted Tad to feel first-hand.
And yet…
Amy wasn’t a schemer, but at four in the morning she found herself wanting to tell him everything. After the way Billie had behaved in that bar, as though Amy was her property, she knew it was time to get out. But she needed to do it in a way that would mean Tad and Casa del Cibo wouldn’t get caught in the backdraught.
Could she tell Tad what she was planning? Maybe head back to Casa del Cibo at the end of the summer on an actual holiday, one where she and Tad could start again? Would he even want that? Especially after what she’d said to him?
Fumbling for her phone on the bedside table, Amy gave up on sleep and instead scrolled through the socials. It wasn’t long before she wished she hadn’t. Almost every other post featured a photo of Kelly Straker, with his arms slung around a young actress in a way it was impossible to misinterpret. ‘Straker sighted with Ramona Pine – finally goes public on his messy split with Billie F-R’ screamed one headline, another played Billie at her own game: ‘When the heat’s too much, Kelly gets out of the Billie Forsythe-Rogers kitchen – for good this time’. A more measured headline allowed for anyone who wasn’t already up to speed with the tumultuous nature of Billie and Kelly’s relationship: ‘Kelly Straker opens up about new girlfriend, tells how it feels to finally leave behind controversial food critic, Billie Forsythe-Rogers’. Ouch. Billie was going to hate that one.
Amy pulled in a long breath, wondering if Billie had any idea Kelly was planning to do something as public as this. Casa del Cibo wasn’t on fire yet, so she guessed not. Amy pressed her fingers against closed eyes, rubbing until a kaleidoscope of colours erupted on the inside of her eyelids. As if there wasn’t already enough to deal with.
Rolling onto her side, she abandoned her phone to the folds of her duvet and scrunched herself into a ball. Billie would be out for blood in the morning – possibly for the rest of her life. And, regardless of what Amy wanted her own future to look like, first she had to survive the rest of the day, which was busy dawning beyond her curtains.
25
Amy gripped her mobile as she descended the stairs for breakfast. Kelly Straker was all over social media, his gushing declarations for new girlfriend, Ramona, photos of the two together comprising every other tweet and thread and post Amy had scrolled through. It was everywhere. There was no way Billie wouldn’t have seen it. No way she wouldn’t already know.
As she crossed the first-floor landing, Malcolm’s door cracked open, and he stepped out.
‘Oh, morning,’ he said, glancing at her phone. ‘You’ve seen it all, then?’
‘Mmm.’
‘Do you suppose he even had the decency to contact Billie, to let her know?’ he said. ‘I know things were rocky between them, but this is a bit brutal, isn’t it?’
Amy nodded.
Malcolm drew in a sharp breath. ‘Although, let’s face it – live by the sword, die by the sword and all that – it’s not like she takes any prisoners, is it?’
Amy knew he was right, but that wasn’t going to make the realisation any easier to swallow for Billie. She glanced at Billie’s bedroom door. ‘Is she still in there?’
‘No idea,’ Malcolm said, heading for the stairs. ‘I’ll see you down there.’
As Malcolm disappeared down the stairs, Amy knocked softly on Billie’s door. When there was no response, she headed for the stairs. Was she running away from having to deal solo with Billie in meltdown mode? Absolutely, she was.
As it turned out, Billie was already in the dining room, looking remarkably calm and together. If Amy hadn’t seen the news, she wouldn’t have thought anything of the way Billie looked – she was ready for the camera, as always, with immaculate make-up and an outfit chosen to show off her figure to its best effect. Except there was a stillness to Billie that was unusual. A quietness. Usually, she was all big movements, attention-grabbing laughs. Even when her mood was low, she remained loud and vibrant. This morning, she looked hollowed out. Cradling a cup of black coffee, she was doing her best to ignore Malcolm as he poured himself a cup and flapped at the breakfast menu card.
