‘And I’m more convinced than ever that I want it to include you. But I need to be sure.’
Robbie lowered the bottle slowly, his concentration fixed on her. ‘What do you mean, you need to be sure?’
She shook her head. ‘I’ve asked far too much of you already, but I’m going to ask for even more.’
He frowned, but it wasn’t out of annoyance, it was confusion, and Dee deserved it. She’d already asked him to be patient, to go, to stay, to second-guess situations he’d had no control over and alter his plans for her. And now she was going to ask him for even more.
‘I made a promise to myself, that I’ll learn to be independent. To be able to be on my own. This is difficult to express but, Robbie, I want you to be sure I’m with you because it’s the right thing for us both. The last thing I want is for you to wake up one day and not know if I’m with you for you, or because I’m too frightened to be alone.’ She took in a deep breath. ‘Sooner or later, you’re going to work out that I haven’t been alone for any of my adult life. I met Henry when I was twenty, and while I was lonely with him, I was never alone. And now you’re here, and it’s fantastic and I wish it had always been you and me, but I need to know I can be alone. I need to know I can be alone so that I know I want to be with you for all the right reasons. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?’
Robbie turned the bottle around in his hands, his brow furrowed in thought. Dee waited, fingers crossed on the stem of her glass. The pause felt interminable, and she almost reneged on herself, almost told him to forget what she’d just said, except she knew she couldn’t do that. Not if she wanted to be sure.
‘How long do you need?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know. I want to visit a few places, travel a bit. Find my feet again.’
He smiled, then allowed himself a rueful shake of his head. ‘I’ve been waiting for you for years, Dee, so I suppose another few months won’t make much difference in the big scheme of things. Will you send me postcards?’
By the time they’d welcomed in the New Year, Jess was exhausted. She didn’t realise she’d have so much fun Scottish dancing, that it would take so much energy, or that she would get to dance with so many different people. If she had to pick the most fun partner, she would choose Karl, whom she’d ended up carrying, swirling him and his blue bunny around to the commands of the caller. The most surprising partner was the elderly man who’d made such an impression on Vivi. Far from needing to be gentle with him, he’d been wirier and stronger than he’d looked, all but lifting her off her feet in the turns – he’d left her breathless and laughing, an admission with which Sebastian later took issue.
‘That’s my job,’ he said, his violin carefully packed away, the bow and strings swapped for his hold around her body as the rest of the band took the pace down and gave the remaining revellers some time for slow dances.
Pressing herself against his Highland gear had Jess giggling. She’d already told him his sporran was in the way, to which he’d replied she hadn’t felt anything yet, before he folded himself against her even more closely and she sighed into him.
They danced on, Jess recognising the tune of a ballad. She picked up the words, singing softly into Sebastian’s shoulder.
‘Did you see my mother dancing with Robbie?’ Sebastian said, quietly.
‘She still is,’ Jess said, pointing. ‘They’re over there.’
Jess lost Sebastian’s attention for a moment as he watched his mother, his forehead creasing, but only for a moment, before being replaced by a soft smile. ‘I hope he makes her happy,’ he said. ‘It’s about time she was.’
His focus shifted back to Jess, and she smiled at him as they danced on. Then he startled, as though remembering something important.
‘Oh, I meant to tell you hours ago – I was a bit late because I was delayed by a rather interesting call. It seems the castle has snagged an outdoor film shoot in the New Year. They want the castle exterior, and possibly the driveway.’
‘That’s great news,’ she said. ‘Will there be any famous actors taking part?’
‘Funny you should say that. Olivia’s already proving herself to be more useful than she looks. Apparently, Guy Ritchie was up here shooting last winter, and they got chatting. So she contacted his people and the wheels have already begun to turn. He’s directing this film, but I’ve got no idea who’s in it.’
‘It’ll be a surprise, then.’ Jess grinned. ‘This is just the start, you know? For the castle, and for us. Brick by brick, remember.’
He nodded. ‘Brick by brick.’
She ran her fingers through the short cropped dark hair behind his ears, then down his jaw-line, and gazed at him, drinking him in. ‘You’re doing the right thing, saving this place, you know? One day your children will thank you.’
‘My children?’ His expression became quizzical.
‘One generation passes it on to the next, isn’t that how it works? At least you and Olivia will create something worth passing on, won’t you?’
‘I hope so.’ He frowned. ‘Can I ask you to do something for me, then?’
‘Of course you can.’
‘Will you make sure they do thank me, sometime in the future?’ he said, his lips grazing her ear.
‘What do you mean?’
His words were quiet, the sentiment behind them taking her breath away.
