‘Knew what?’ Jess appreciated his honesty, the way he was laying things from his past out in the open for her, but she wasn’t sure where he was going with it.
‘That word.We. I tried to tell myself it was just a throwaway word, something you said without any thought, but it’s what I want. So badly. I want you and me to be “we”.’ He paused, gauging her expression before he ploughed on. ‘I want you, Jess. Without you, I’m not sure anything makes any sense anymore. I want “us” very badly. Can I promise you forever? I’m not sure anyone can promise that, not unconditionally. What I can say, though, with a level of certainty I’ve not felt before, is that I’m ready to give forever my best shot, if you are, too.’
Sebastian fell quiet, moistening his lips as he watched her for her reaction. Jess had wanted honesty, reassurance – she’d wanted guarantees. And as she stared at him, she realised how much he’d just laid on the line for her.
‘I’d like that very much,’ she said. Her words seemed weak against the strength of his, but he didn’t seem to notice as he reached for her, catching her up in a tight embrace. And in that moment, Jess felt something she’d craved for as long as she could remember, something she’d come to understand she’d also been running from for just as long. Jess, she realised, now understood what it meant to come home.
Now Hogmanay had arrived, and Jess realised she hadn’t ever been very excited about New Years’ Eve – she’d always seen it as little more than a shift in the calendar, the flicking of one number to the next. But there was something in the way the preparations were coming together for this evening which did have a magical feel to it. Perhaps itwasbecause of the date. Or maybe the events of recent weeks and the way they had brought with them a total shift in her perception of her life and where it might be headed had shifted her perspective on everything.
Jess realised time was running out for her to go and get herself ready when Freddie and Karl beetled towards her, already dressed in identical kilts and jackets.
‘I’m Prince Charlie,’ Karl said, his blue bunny bouncing in one fist.
‘No, Mummy said that’s what your jacket’s called, idiot,’ Freddie said.
‘You both look very smart,’ Jess said, as Freya flowed into the room, looking absolutely stunning in a long green dress, slashed through with a panel of the same tartan as the boys’ kilts. She took one look at Jess and tapped her watch.
‘You should go and get yourself ready, Jess. Oh, and by the way, I left a small gift in your room for you.’
The gift was tartan in the shape of a sash, as well as a gorgeous pin – why Jess hadn’t worked out before this evening that there must be a Kirkshield tartan was beginning to baffle her. Alongside it was a beautiful note, in which Freya told Jess she’d never seen her brother looking so sure of himself as he had done over the last week, not even when she’d been to see him play with the Philharmonic, and there was only one reason for it.
Thankfully, Freya had thought to include instructions as to how she should wear the sash. Jess frowned at herself as she made some final adjustments to it, worried it wasn’t sitting in the right place, or that she hadn’t pinned it correctly. The tartan was very pretty, a heathery-mossy mixture of greens and purples, with a strong dark grey line running through it every now and again, and it sat happily against the velvety midnight black of the dress Vivi had given her for Christmas.
Jess could hear the chatter of conversation as she headed for the picture gallery, a final bout of nerves settling as she straightened Sebastian’s bracelet on her wrist – a late Christmas present, but one she would treasure forever.
She saw Vivi almost immediately, seated with Digby tight at her heel, and veered across to speak to her.
‘Ah, Jess. There you are,’ Vivi said, gesturing to the man sat across from her. ‘Do you know Desmond Drummond?’
With her grey hair caught up in an elegant bun, her expression was as sharp and focused as always, but there was something different about Vivi this evening: a lightness to her demeanour. Desmond shook Jess’s hand, his attention sliding back almost immediately to her aunt, and Jess left them to their conversation. The elegant older lady and the statesmanlike silver fox fully kilted out – if that was the right expression – in a tartan boasting much brighter red tones than the one Jess was wearing. Jess glanced back, grinning as she saw Vivi laugh at something Desmond said.
Freya and Christian were pretending to admire the tree, while keeping more than a casual eye on where the boys were. Freddie and Karl zigzagged through the assembled adults, pocketing snacks and being politely rebuffed each time they offered to help the band set up their instruments.
Jess turned in a circle to take in the scene, wondering how closely it resembled the parties of yesteryear Craig Macwarren had referred to. Before she’d completed a turn, though, she paused. Where was Sebastian?
As if on cue, he entered the picture gallery from the far end, and Jess caught her breath as she watched him approach. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that Sebastian was dressed in a kilt. Somehow, though, it made her smile. He looked self-conscious, pulling at his cuffs until he spotted her, when his expression focused.
‘You look fantastic,’ he said, taking her hand.
‘You look …’
He misinterpreted her inability to complete the sentence, shaking his head. ‘I know. Ridiculous. Everyone else manages to pull it off …’
‘I was going to say you look incredibly sexy, Mr Barclay-Brown. I was going to say if it wasn’t for all these people, I’d like to …’
But she didn’t get a chance to complete her sentence. Voices clamoured from all sides for him, and Jess stepped to one side to allow him to greet his guests. He threaded his fingers through hers more tightly, taking her with him as he welcomed everyone. Craig Macwarren clapped him on the back, expressing just how much he and Isla had been looking forward to the evening. People flowed past, Sebastian a rock in the river of greetings, with Jess held firmly by his side. Not a single person had brought any negativity with them to this evening and Aggie Fernell embraced them both as she would long-lost friends.
Jess glanced around. The place had been built for occasions like this, and a ripple of excitement ran through her at the thought of this being the first of many warm, happy evenings in this grand old building.
Her smile slipped a little as Catriona approached, and she went to pull away and give Sebastian space, but he held on to her hand. Catriona wasn’t on her own this evening. There was a man with her, an imposing rock of a man with an easy smile and a fierce twinkle in his eye.
‘This is Greg,’ Catriona said. ‘He finally managed to get here.’
Greg extended a hand for Sebastian to shake, then Jess. ‘Lovely to be here, Your Lordship. Kirkshield is beautiful and it makes a pleasant change from the day job.’ He glanced at Catriona, the twinkle intensifying. ‘For a few days, anyway. Then I’ll be dragging this beautiful lady back to Aberdeen.’
‘Glad you could make it,’ Sebastian said. ‘I hope you’ll both have a great evening.’
‘Sorry to butt in.’ Olivia appeared at his shoulder, her expression anything but apologetic. ‘Slight situation with the band. The violinist has just had a phone call – his wife’s gone into labour, and he needs to leave. Apparently the last time he didn’t get to the hospital in time, and she’s told him that if it happens again she’s going to eat this one, so he’s out of here.’
