‘Special.’ Dee had to bite back the scorn in her voice. ‘So is the Chippendale sideboard in the drawing room, but it doesn’t mean you need to take it to bed. What are you thinking, Sebastian? With everything else going on, the last thing you need is a complication like this. And with her aunt staying in the village, too? Are you mad?’
‘You think I’m using her?’
‘History does have a way of repeating itself. And your father was very, very good at using people. Specifically, the female employees in this house. So, yes. I think you might be using her.’
Another door opened, and Freya poked her head out. ‘What’s going on out here? Oh, it’s you two – I thought it might be the boys. Is everything OK?’
Sebastian furrowed his brows, his earlier expression of contentment had gone, replaced instead by a weighted, heavy gaze. ‘Yes, Freya. Everything’s fine. Happy Christmas.’
‘And to you.’ Freya joined them in the corridor, her gaze on her brother. ‘You look tired. Did you go out after all?’
‘Not exactly.’ He sighed, heading for his room. ‘Doesn’t matter. I’ll see you for breakfast.’
Dee pressed her lips together. She felt disorientated, shaken up by how the relationship between Sebastian and Jess had accelerated. She’d assumed it to be nothing more than harmless flirting – but now, with confirmation that things between them had become intimate, it was almost impossible for Dee to ignore the way it dug at old wounds.Herwounds. And what about the castle? If Sebastian was sufficiently distracted, how would he be able to fulfil his obligations to the estate?
Freya watched him go, her features blighted by a gentle frown. ‘Acceptance flows both ways, Mummy. As does trust.’
Dee sighed. ‘Does it?’
‘If you let it. I’m going to check on the boys – I expect their room is wall-to-wall wrapping paper by now, but I did want to see them open at least some of their stocking gifts,’ Freya said, squeezing Dee’s shoulder gently as she walked past her.
Downstairs, Dee wrapped her favourite scarf around her neck, then zipped her coat. Peering into the kitchen, she saw her grandsons were already downstairs, zooming around the kitchen, each one holding aloft a toy plane, while Jess was tending to something on the Aga. Dee wanted to go and cuddle the boys, but she didn’t have the first clue what she would say to Jess. So instead she withdrew and left the castle via the garden door. She needed to be alone, to have some time to think.
But by the time Dee reached the gate to Robbie’s cottage, she had changed her mind. Solitude wasn’t going to cut it. Not today. She headed through his garden, the dogs setting up a furious barking at her early-morning intrusion, and lights flicking on inside before she’d had a chance to knock on the door. When Robbie opened it, hastily clad in a jumper and loose-fitting trousers, his first action was to perform a rapid scan of the outdoor area. Dee supposed he must have thought there were intruders. It took him a moment or two to focus on her, for his expression to soften.
The softness didn’t last, though. Its place was taken by confusion, then caution.
‘Is everything all right?’ he said, flicking the cuff of his jumper to check his watch.
‘I’m sorry to come here so early. I was going to take myself off for a walk. I thought I wanted some time alone, but now I’m not so sure.’ She was hoping he might throw his door wide, invite her in. But she supposed there was no reason why he would want to do so, especially after she’d treated him so poorly.
‘Aye, well, I suppose I should wish you a Happy Christmas,’ he said, hand still firm against the edge of the door.
‘Happy Christmas, Robbie.’ She drew in a deep breath. ‘I wanted to say, for the record, I don’t think we made a mistake.’
His eyebrows arched. ‘But you’ve been all but ignoring me. I thought …’
‘Yes. I know. It’s been … I’ve been a bit all over the place. And none of it is on you, it’s all my fault.’ She swallowed. ‘I wanted to ask – are you planning to come to the castle to listen to the choir?’
‘I wasn’t sure I should.’
‘Please come. And – if you like – you could stay for lunch, too.’
His frown deepened. ‘I don’t know …’
‘Well, I do. I’d like you there, as my guest. And it will give us time to talk, too. I think we need to talk, Robbie.’
‘Can I think about it? Mam and Dad are expecting me to go there,’ he said. ‘And I don’t want to miss out on my Keel Christmas pudding, do I?’
At last, the glimmer of a smile. Dee reciprocated.
‘Don’t worry about that – your mother made us one the size of a watermelon. You won’t miss out on a thing.’ Dee stuck her hands in her pockets. ‘Well, I’ll leave you to your morning – sorry to have disturbed you so early.’ She turned to leave, then doubled back on herself. ‘Please come.’
She wasn’t sure he would, but at least he was smiling as he closed the door.
Chapter 33
Jess felt an unexpected level of nerves as she took her place in the choir line-up. She hadn’t performed in front of an audience in a while and however much she told herself she was surrounded by the other singers, including Vivi, there was no getting away from the fact she was performing all the solos. Jess’s music booklet shook in her hand.
