He shook his head. ‘No. We can’t let Jess go.’
‘Why not?’
Why not?It was an excellent question, one to which Sebastian didn’t have a straightforward answer. He mumbled something about seeing through her contract, that their younger sister and her family was about to arrive for Christmas. He saw Olivia’s frown and knew his words didn’t match up to the way he’d impressed on her the need to make cutbacks.
He did his best to deflect, by reminding Olivia how she was going to apologise to their mother, then sitting back in his chair as the two women talked. Wondering why it was he wanted to include Jess in his version of the lifeboat Edward Ellingham had mentioned.
Dee listened to Olivia’s apology, mildly bemused. Olivia only ever apologised as a last resort, or on occasion as a way to get something she wanted. But this apology seemed genuine. As though she’d actually taken on board how deeply her accusations of infidelity had stung Dee.
The fact that she had remained faithful, no matter what, had been something Dee had clung to – a sort of a moral life raft. It had been a way to try to separate herself from the way her husband had behaved. Maybe it would have been easier to have sunk to his level. Maybe that was what he was waiting for, so that he could get rid of her and take another, even younger, wife.
Maybe she’d never wanted to give him the satisfaction of doing that, or to furnish him with anything else with which he could control her.
To hear herself vindicated – even if it was through her daughter’s need to DNA-test her son – went some way to allowing Dee to breathe freely again. And the fact that Olivia and Sebastian looked as though they were exploring a way to run the estate together was music to Dee’s ears. That was until Olivia made a throwaway comment.
‘And with us taking charge of making this place work, you can concentrate on you. It’s about time you thought about what you want next, don’t you think?’
Dee’s smile grew broader. Perhaps this was the moment to tell them about her feelings for Robbie.
‘In time, you might even want to find someone new,’ Olivia said. ‘I mean, why not? Although to be fair you might struggle around here. We were just laughing about it – the only single bloke in the vicinity is Robbie, and it’s not like you’d be interested in someone like him, would you? He’s like a part of the estate furniture – and you two couldn’t be more different if you tried.’
Dee froze. She’d been right. Her children thought the idea of her and Robbie finding love was crazy. Worse than that, they thought it laughable.
She swallowed hard; the smile she’d allowed to grow broader at the way her children were finally acting as a team slipped from her lips. She stayed put, in one of the library’s leather armchairs, as Sebastian excused himself, didn’t move from her chair when Olivia left the room, too, in search of Candida.
Dee was back to square one, hiding her true feelings from the people she loved the most. But who should she hide them from? Her children, or Robbie? Which of them was she willing to disappoint?
Chapter 25
Jess had spent the afternoon batch-cooking some stews in the Aga. Since Edward Ellingham’s helicopter had lifted from the drive earlier in the day, it had begun to snow again and, with the feather-like flakes falling with increasing determination outside the window, Jess had been happy to stay inside. Even Digby seemed more than happy to snooze while Jess chopped onions and rifled through the larder for ingredients.
It seemed a good opportunity to get some meals ready for when the rest of Sebastian’s family arrived for Christmas. Time was ticking on: Christmas music was dominating the radio and if she’d seen the movieElfadvertised once on TV, she’d seen it a dozen times. There might be no sign of the festive season yet in the castle, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t coming.
Mrs Keel had already brought up the largest Christmas pudding Jess had ever seen, and it sat in the larder alongside a tin containing a massive Christmas cake. Mrs Keel had made both, providing Jess with a small bottle of whisky and instructions about how to ‘feed’ the cake before it was time to decorate it. Apparently, Dorathy Keel had made both for the castle for more years than she cared to remember, and Jess was grateful she’d continued the tradition this year, too. The production of a traditional Christmas cake, and a pudding weighing in heavier than a human head, was punching above Jess’s culinary abilities.
By the time she checked the clock and realised she was going to be late for the village choir rehearsal – again – the stews were bubbling happily, cooking low and slow in what Vivi had explained to her was the Aga’s simmering oven.
‘Sorry – late again,’ Sebastian said as he bundled into the room. ‘Are you good to go?’
‘Perfect timing,’ Jess said, rinsing off her hands and checking the room was Digby-proof. The little dog wasn’t above pinching provisions if they were within reach, but everything looked secure. She grabbed up her coat. ‘Ready.’
It seemed Sebastian hadn’t noticed the unintentional ‘we’ she’d blurted out when she’d suggested the castle B and B. Jess was relieved – mostly, anyway. There was no way to put her finger on the nebulous feelings this whole place was stirring up inside her, so perhaps it was easier not to, to just roll with the moment instead.
Sebastian held the scullery door wide and, once Jess had checked a final time that Digby was content and settled in his basket, she slipped through the gap and waited for Sebastian to close the door and catch up to her.
‘Whatever you’ve been cooking smells absolutely delicious.’ He looked awkward for a moment, then added, ‘I hope you’re happy to stay on and help us out over Christmas.’
She frowned. ‘Why do you say that? Of course I am.’ It seemed an odd comment, especially after their conversation about his determination to turn the estate around.
He shook his head. ‘Sorry. Ignore me. My sister got the DNA results back and it’s rather changed things.’
Jess ran hot and cold. Was he trying to say that he wasn’t who he believed himself to be? That Olivia had been right in her claim? Where would that leave Sebastian? After coming to terms with his new reality and deciding to do everything he could to make it work, had it been ripped away from him?
‘What happened?’ she asked, her voice muted.
He took a deep breath, the plume of white spiralling away into the falling snow.
‘Turns out my sister accidently sent some of Digby’s hair for DNA testing,’ he said, as they crossed the bridge and entered the village.
