‘There is, that’s true enough.’
His reply was quiet, and when Dee went to point out the red kite, she was confused to see him staring at her, not at the scenery.
‘Up there,’ she said. ‘Can you see it?’
‘Aye, I’ve seen the bird.’
‘But you’re not looking at it,’ she said, annoyed that he wasn’t taking note of the majestic wing-span, the way the bird used the currents of air to move with what appeared to be minimal effort. How glorious it must be to have that feeling of freedom, to simply tilt its tail feathers and head off in a completely new direction.
Robbie smiled, tipping his face to the blue, following the line of her pointing finger.
‘Magnificent,’ Dee said, her gaze now on his profile, hoping her word still referred to the bird.
‘I was planning on jumping the river on my way home,’ Robbie said, concentration still skywards.
‘I’m sorry, you’re going to do what?’ After a comment like that, she felt she could stare legitimately at him, waiting for some clarity about what he was talking about. ‘The river is too wide, surely?’
He glanced at her, and their gazes locked. Then he shook his head. ‘I didn’t mean literally jump it. There are a series of rocks, if you know where to look. You can get from one to the next and then across. It’s fun.’
Fun. Dee wasn’t sure when she’d last done anything fun. The quizzical expression must have shown, because his smile broadened and he became emboldened.
‘Would you like to join me?’ An eyebrow cocked. ‘I won’t tell if you don’t.’
The base of Dee’s stomach did something it hadn’t done in a very long time, knotting in a way which wasn’t anxiety, or disappointment, or disgust. It knotted in a place reserved for a very different feeling. After everything she’d put Robbie through, it seemed too much to expect him to forgive her, and yet here he was, inviting her back into his world. Doing her best to retain a neutral expression, she nodded. ‘Why not.’
‘Very good,’ Robbie said, staring back up at the sky.
‘Let’s go, then,’ she said, impatient to get moving. Impatient to experience something unexpected, something she might enjoy. ‘You can’t promise me fun and then stand there doing nothing about it.’
Robbie laughed, a loud crackle of genuine amusement. ‘Come away with me, then,’ he said, leading the way down the path in the direction of the river.
He moved quickly, and Dee had to hustle to keep up. If anything, she enjoyed the pace. It didn’t give her time to ponder what she was doing or think about the way her breathlessness at the speed of the walk almost hid the fact she didn’t seem to be able to manage more than shallow breaths anyway.
Abruptly, Robbie left the path and veered for the river, edging his way down through a series of boulders. Dee followed, the gorse bushes catching at her trousers, the remnants of some bramble pulling at the laces of her walking boots. By the time she’d adjusted them, Robbie was at the water’s edge.
‘Over here,’ Robbie said, all formality gone as he waved her over. ‘This is the first one.’
‘Are you sure it’s safe?’ she asked, side-eying him as she viewed what looked like a slippery, sloping rock with water bubbling around its edges.
‘Safe?’ He looked amused.
She tried to clarify her worry. ‘I don’t want to end up with a broken leg or something.’
‘You won’t.’ There was a strength to the way he gazed at her which gave Dee confidence, made her feel as though she was more than capable.
‘Anyway, nothing worth doing is totally safe, is it? And what’s wrong with a bit of adrenalin every now and again?’ Robbie said, then he smiled. ‘You’ll be totally fine, Dee, I promise. I’ll go first, then you can follow, stone by stone. That way if something goes wrong and I fall in, I get wet, and you get to laugh at me. How does that sound?’
His grin was so broad that Dee shrugged off the last vestiges of her concern. The cage door was ajar, remember? All she had to do was push on it and she could climb out.
Robbie made it look easy. He barely seemed to step out and then he was on the sloping boulder, surrounded by water. Dee still hadn’t left the shoreline when he jumped again, onto the next rock.
‘Come on,’ he called, gesturing for her to follow.
Dee dithered a while longer, slipping on the damp grass which led into the water. She could call out and tell him she’d changed her mind, turn and walk away. She didn’t have to do this. She didn’thaveto do anything. Then Dee grinned as she realised shewantedto do this, and that for the first time in far too long she was also smiling because she wanted to. Smiling at the fact that Robbie was providing her with a way to escape the boundaries she’d been forced to inhabit. She was caught up in the moment, enveloped in a mix of the unfamiliar, a happy cocktail of adrenalin and excitement.
Dee’s whole life had been spent buttoned up tight. It had been laid out for her – a life blueprint, like they had for a building. But today was about nothing more than enjoying herself. There was no level of expectation attached to any of it, nobody to cast opinion on whether she was doing the right thing. Nobody cared. It was weirdly cathartic, standing on the edge of the river Kirk, judging how best to jump in.
She overdid her first leap, almost overshooting the boulder and squealing as she windmilled her arms to get her balance. Once she had herself under control, she looked up to see Robbie, whose expression of concern was giving way to another broad grin. He stayed put on his rock – it was broad and flat, large enough for both of them.
